Asher Means Happy

Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go..

2008-10-13T16:09:00.003-04:00

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that foll’west all my way,
I yield my flick’ring torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

Tomorrow morning at 7:30 am EST, is Asher's surgery.
Please be in prayer for him and the doctors..that God would guide their hands and allow this surgery to help in his proper development.

We're expecting the surgery to last about 2-3 hours, then recovery and even a possible same-day discharge depending on how well he does. Asher is such a strong little guy.. I know he will do well. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if he does better than his own mother and older sister.

The Surgery

2008-09-11T10:46:00.003-04:00

I should probably warn you that if a close-up photo of a repaired cleft palate will make your stomach queasy, you might want to skip this post..

Asher had his third appointment with the Cleft Team on August 19th. He has a new nice, wonderful doctor who will be performing the surgery on October 14th.
While we would have much rather prepared having his surgery done during this past summer, such a time as this and it will take place in just over a month and three days.
It's going to be a pretty intense surgery, with a myriad of different things going on inside of his mouth.

First off, the expander you see in his mouth (on the left) will be removed. He's had the expander in for about 6 months now and every night we use the key to help the device expand his palate. Hopefully it's done its job and his mouth will be the right size!
Next, they will be re-aligning his palate. I'm pretty sure this means re-opening the palate, re-aligning and then closing it back up again.
Then will come the tough part- the bone graft. Although you can't see in these pictures clearly, there's a split in his gum line due to his clefts. The doctors will graft a piece of bone from his hip into that cleft to help with the future growth of his mouth. That's intense.

And last but not least, they'll remove those HUGE tonsils he was blessed with! I think we'll all enjoy having those removed since he's the loudest snorer in the family!

What does Asher think of all of this? Well, I think he understands what will be happening since he's been through this before and we've been talking about it a lot lately. I'm sure he's a little nervous, scared and anxious-who wouldn't be? He's not very emotional (at all) and still has a bit of a wall built up around him, so he won't let us see that side of him. I don't know what his surgeries were like before, or if he has any memory of them. (They were done at age 1 and 4.) Unlike his other surgeries, we will be there for him through it all and I hope that will make a difference to his nerves. He won't be alone through this one.

So for now, we wait and prepare ourselves and Asher for this big event.

A Splendid Reunion

2008-07-04T21:56:00.005-04:00

About two weeks ago we were finally able to come together and celebrate the long awaited reunion of Xiao Dua and WaWa. Or, more commonly known as Asher and Sophie. The two of them were able to enjoy and experience each other's company for the first time in over a year.

We packed up part (two stayed home) of our crew and headed out to Cape Canaveral and the condo where Sophie and her family were staying. Excitement and anticipation were overwhelming all of us as we made our way up the steps, through the door.. and finally to Sophie. I'll never forget the way Sophie greeted Asher;

"Xiao Du! I'm Sophie, but you already know my name!"

They eagerly exchanged the gifts they had picked out for each other and happily showed them off to everyone. Asher had been collecting all of his menu's and coloring pages from our Disney cruise that previous week, in order to save for Sophie. He also got the autographs of several famous Disney characters in his autograph book and gave that to her as well. Sophie handed Asher a Spiderman toy (which is currently making a home in his bed), Spiderman pj's (he wore that night) and Frog windchimes from Sophie's Mimi.

It was so precious to watch the two of them reconnect. The first signs of shyness quickly dissipated as hugs and kisses were soon exchanged.

The hungry bellies of six young children quickly sent us to a nearby McDonalds, where we ended up spending the majority of the day. (We had fully prepared for a day at the beach.. but the stormy skies had other ideas!) But it didn't matter where we were.. the kids were all happy, especially those two.

I've never seen Asher so happy before and already in the short time he has been home, he has seen so much. Hunting camps, visits to Disney World and a Disney Cruise, jet ski rides and karate promotions. Nope, nothing could compare to the joy on his face when he was with Sophie.

The kids all got along great. Between the two families we have five Chinese children with Sophie,
Esther, Emma and Maddie all within a few months of each other. The four girls got along great.. and I think Maddie even had a little thing for Ian. =) He seems to have that affect on all the girls..

It was a wonderful day and we are so glad that it was just the beginning of many more reunions to come. Fortunately, Sophie doesn't live too far away and although nothing is for sure yet.. a visit for a certain someone's 6th birthday would sure be super fun!

Esther, Maddie and Sophie

The kiddo's:
Back: Ian, Esther, Sophie and Asher
Front: Maddie and Emma

Maddie sure loved Ian =)

The night we got home was tough for Asher. I did have to go in and comfort him because he had just lost it. I didn't really expect him to get upset because he is not one to show off his emotions, but it didn't surprise me either. Last time he said goodbye he didn't know if he would ever see Sophie again, but at least this time he knows he WILL see her again. The next day he showed everyone in church the photo's from their special day. Asher still talks about Sophie and their reunion every day.

As soon as we came home from our trip, Asher ran outside to the backyard and hung up the windchimes he had received from Sophie's grandmother. Thank you so much Mimi! =)

****I took a ton of pictures and video and put it all together in a movie.. however my iMovie program is unexpectedly quitting on me each time I try to open it. Once I figure that out, I'll have the video up.. but I wanted to get the pictures up for all of you to see!

The Reunion..

2008-06-21T23:46:00.001-04:00

Since they say a picture says a thousand words,
I though I would leave you with this..

Asher's Speech

2008-06-21T00:09:00.003-04:00

Asher recently reached the 10 month mark since joining our family. In that time he has gone from speaking barely any words in English to completing full sentences. This has been the hardest struggle of anything for him, but he is finally starting to conquer his speech! We have been overjoyed to watch Asher's speech continue to progress and progress. Granted, he still has a long way to go but his upcoming surgery on August 1st will tremendously help.

The first part of this video was shot just a few weeks after coming home. You can notice in the video the high nasal sound of his voice, and also how shy he was! The last part was shot today and if you listen carefully you can probably make out all he is saying. He is still a bit nasally, but you can see a big difference and notice how he is much more confident! Both of these video's are about Sophie, btw. =)

Oh The Excitement...

2008-06-20T23:46:00.003-04:00

It's been just over thirteen months since Asher last saw his best friend, Sophie, or "Wawa" as he called her. Sophie was adopted in May, just a few short months before we brought Asher home. Ever since the day we met him, not a day has gone by that the name Wawa or Sophie has not been mentioned. He talks all the time about her.. what she likes, that she was his favorite friend, how he wants to grow up and fly an airplane so he can go see her.. and he wants to marry her! ;)
Sophie is the only part of his memories of China that he has been able to verbalize. Just recently he has started opening up a lot about his life in China, especially since his speech is getting much better and he feels more comfortable talking. I think he was scared about this new transition in his life so rather than cry or get upset, he threw all of his old life behind him and refused to think about it. Now that he realizes this setting is permanent he is starting to feel more comfortable and is much more apt to talk about it. Though it all, Sophie has been the only constant in his life and thank goodness for Sophie's mom Jennifer and her blog! Just today I was watching a video that we received from friends of ours in Washington who visited his orphanage in December 2005 while adopting their daughter. In the video, there's a short snippet of Asher, delicately embracing Sophie and you can just see the love he has for her in his face. It is so sweet to watch and I am just so glad that this was apart of God's plan for their lives. To live with together all of their lives and then be adopted just a few months apart by families who had already known each other through the cyber adoption community and only live one state away.. that isn't just a coincidence. =)
Tomorrow, we are heading out for this long awaited reunion of two special friends..
Asher is just beside himself with anticipation. I don't think the word EXCITED even begins to describe the emotions he is feeling. He just can't wait. We returned yesterday morning from our Disney cruise and all he could talk about the entire time was how we were going to see Sophie after we came home. I can't wait to see his face.. I bet he will barely be able to sleep tonight!
Stay tuned! =)

Sophie, this is for you....

Cleft Update, Part 2

2008-05-27T15:59:00.002-04:00

Asher was re-evaluated by the Cleft Team on Thursday.. but we know about as much as we did before he even went in. To make a long story short, he has another appointment on Friday (I think) and we might even be switching doctors. The only problem is that there aren't many who specialize in this field and we want Asher to have the best care possible. So.. we're going to wait and see, yet at the same time call around for second opinions.....

Cleft Update

2008-05-21T16:05:00.002-04:00

As most of you know, Asher was born with a cleft lip and palate. His lip was a unilateral cleft, which means it was open on one side. You may notice in some of his photo's that his nose is a bit caved in on the left side from the cleft. His lip was repaired when he was about two years old, and it looks great. He will probably have a lip revision done in the future to help make the skin and lip appear more even.
Asher was also born with a cleft palate, which is a hole in the roof of the mouth. The hole was repaired in China in 2004, but the surgery was unsuccessful. Although the surgeons closed the hole, they did not repair the defect in his mouth. I don't know the specifics of the palate but from what I've been told, the nerves (?) in the roof of his mouth are misaligned which is contributing to his poor speech. (I don't know if it's the nerves specifically, but something is not lining up correctly.. and that's the problem.)
Asher was seen by the cleft palate team in November and they concluded that he would need to have further surgery on his palate, even going as far as re-opening it to align everything back up correctly. He is also sporting the largest tonsils that the surgeons have ever seen and obviously those need to come out too. Together with the large tonsils and misaligned palate, it is affecting his speech even with all of the speech therapy he is getting.
We knew when we adopted Asher that surgery was a possibility, and obviously it will be necessary in his case. As you can see from the picture, he has a palate expander installed in his mouth. We use a key to "turn" the expander each day with the goal that it will expand his small mouth. Asher is such a tough little guy and never complains. Even when we ask him if his mouth hurts (and I know it does) he always says no. He's such a strong little boy and I know he will do well through all of the surgeries he will face in the future.
Tomorrow, he visits the cleft team again to discuss his third surgery which could be happening this summer..

I'll update tomorrow when I know..

Happiness

2008-05-05T22:23:00.000-04:00

I've tried to type up this post on several occasions, yet each time I've never been able to fully gather the words I've needed to express the points I want to make. Simply put, my love for Asher continues to grow each and every day. Each day I am more and more enamored by his courage, his bravery and his zeal for life. I wish all of you could meet this special little boy since he would capture your heart as he has mine. How has God blessed our family with such a sweet child? I don't know how we got so lucky..

Soon we will be celebrating nine months since our happy boy has been apart of our family and it's amazing to think of the journey that we have been through, and continue to take. Asher's adoption has taught me many things, one of them being FAITH. Never doubt for a single minute that God isn't caring for you as you go through the roller coaster ride that adoption is. The biggest mistake I made during the beginning was not trusting God that everything would work out with the crazy, wild child we had just imported from China. (kidding....)

How do you measure the amount of happiness a child brings to your life? I don't think you can and that's how I feel about my sweet Asher. My heart is overflowing with the love I have for him. It didn't come easy though- just scroll down a few posts and you'll see my first reactions toward him upon coming home. I didn't adequately prepare myself for what was taking place in my life, nor think about the changes in his life. It's easy to say you know that he will have adjustments and it will be rough.. but it's not easy to ride that roller coaster of emotions. It took a good, solid two months before things started to calm down and my love for him started to grow.

What was Asher like when he first got home? A sneaky, smiley, kicking, biting, full of rage when angered, non-attached beast, stuck inside the body of a seven year old. Is that enough of an explanation? Yes.. that's exactly how he was. If he was happy, then everyone was happy. If he wasn't, he made sure that ALL of us were unhappy as well. I can't blame him for most of it though- at seven, he had hardly been beyond the walls of his orphanage. Therefore he lacked the common skills most children learn as they grow. Life in the orphanage taught him to be sneaky. Being one of the few non-mentally disabled children there, he learned to get in trouble and then blame it on those who couldn't defend themselves. The orphanage told us a story about Asher when we went to visit. Apparently, he had instructed all of the children to throw their shoes out the window, then blamed it on one of the deaf children. They later found out it was Asher.. but little things like that is how he grew up. Nothing really changed once he got home, only it was a different set of territory so he needed to see how things worked. Yet for him, he acquired a mother just as stubborn as he is so there wouldn't be much that he would get away with. Along with his anger, came grieving which was easy to overlook. Two days after coming home from China, he let it all go. He must have cried for over an hour just weeping and wailing.. it was so sad to watch him go through that. I had to excuse myself from the house in order to escape it. He didn't have enough English to tell us who he missed, but he kept repeating someone's name, over and over again. Since then, he hasn't grieved at all.

After arriving home, Asher completely shut off his memory of anything to do with China. If we showed pictures to him of his friends from the orphanage, he would pretend he didn't know them. He didn't want to speak Chinese to others. I am sure this was his way leaving behind his old life and focusing on the new one in front of him. I'm sure many of these memories were painful for him to remember, so he probably figured the only way to be strong was to forget them. The only person he would ever talk about is his Wawa, (Sophie) his best friend from his orphanage. I believe he was in charge of caring for her because of the way he talks of her. Last year, we received some video from a family who traveled to Dandong in 2005 and in it you can see Asher, lovingly holding onto his young Wawa. To this day, he constantly talks about Wawa and loves to visit her blog and look at pictures.

Just in the last few weeks has Asher started opening up about his life in China. It's not very often when he does it, but when he does open up it reminds me of that scene in the movie, The Notebook when Allie remembers who Duke is. It happened one day when I pulled out a few photos we had developed from the disposable camera sent to the orphanage. We have several images of Asher and his friends and life around the orphanage. All of a sudden he started talking about his friends... pointing them out by name, and saying whether he liked them or not! I thought it was funny when he pointed out one little boy and said they shared a bed and apparently the little boy peed in their bed!

One time, we were driving and I had Asher and Ian in the backseat and all of a sudden Asher started opening up. He started telling us that once he went swimming in a river, but he was naked! It's the little things like this, when he gives us a glimpse into his life in China that I love to hear about.

Another time, Asher dictated to Ian some of his feelings about Sophie before and after she left to be adopted. Quick thinking Ian thought to write them all down and I'm sharing them here because they just melt my heart. The conversation between Sophie & Asher before she left went something like this: (and I'm copying Ian's exact words)
Sophie: (speaking sadly) "I don't want to leave and go on the airplane."
Asher: "I don't want you to leave."
Sophie: "I love you Asher."
Asher: "Please come back, bye Wawa."

The rest of the letter dictated by Asher, and written by Ian says this:
"Asher was crying on his bed. He told me his heart broke. He was crying in the middle of the night and saying, 'Wawa, please don't go, please.' "

I share the above because it helps me to understand what Asher was going through. He had left his entire life behind him, and his Wawa, his best friend.

How do you describe Asher? Those who have met him would probably say one word: happy. He's always happy.. and has been since we first saw his referral pictures! I wish I could take on the world the way Asher can- nothing seems to ever phase him and he's the most easy going child I have ever met. Asher is a pleaser- he wants to be there for you and do whatever he can. He's a charmer- everyone seems to fall in love with him. And he uses that precious smile of his to his advantage. He is sarcastic-so much in fact that we call sarcasm his third language-and has been since the day after we got him! (I remember him walking up to Ian in the bathroom as they prepared to get a shower, and he slapped Ian on the bottom as if to say "Hey Dude.") He loves to joke with everyone and he totally understands humor. He's playful- never wants to sit still and always wants to be doing something. That would explain why he eats almost twice the amount I do, yet he doesn't have the problem of gaining weight, like I do!! =) Asher is a great dancer and singer, although he's very shy about performing in public. However, get him warmed up and comfortable and he's quite the entertainer!

As of February, Asher is reading! It's those little Bob books, the ones with three words per page, but he is reading them! Asher loves math but I think he would rather do away with everything else. Considering he started at the level of a 2 year old in August, I think he is doing very well! Mom wants to have him starting second grade in the fall, but we will see what happens. He still attends a once-a-week homeschool co-op and loves his school days. The class is very hands on, and just recently I helped Asher put together a whole poster on China. He continues to be tutored twice a week by our friend Nancy, and also receives speech therapy three times a week. His speech is slowly and steadily improving and I understand about 90% of what he says. Having his tonsils removed and his palate re-done will tremendously help improve his speech. We're looking at a surgery possibly sometime this summer, but more on that in my next post!

We're still working on getting rid of his old habits; he still lies and doesn't like to follow the rules. Some of that is due to orphanage behavior, but it's also because he's a typical eight year old boy. We discipline Asher by putting him in time out- he has a chair right at the front of the house that he sits in for eight minutes, until he apologizes for what he has done wrong. (Learned that from SuperNanny!) We still have our good days and our bad days. Asher is always very well behaved when I am around him, but since I'm not home that much, I don't experience as much of his bad moments. It's always hard to come home and see him sitting in his chair, or hearing from Mom what he had done that day. It's still a learning process and these things just take time.

So many people ask us all the time how Asher is doing, and I always answer "Terrific." He's doing so well considering the amount of time he has been here and all of the obstacles he has faced. He's very intelligent, so he picks up on things very easily. Writing from the standpoint of having him for almost a year, I'd say our older child adoption story has been a great success. (I wasn't so sure back in September!!) It's taken a lot of time, PATIENCE, love, faith, patience, discipline, grace, and did I mention patience? Overall, I'd say this is definitely one of the best decisions we have ever made. It's funny how we think of it as a decision, yet God had already planned this out before any of us were even born! Asher is such a blessing to our family and we are all looking forward to what God has in store for his life in the coming years. Stick around!

Six Months of Photos

2008-04-28T17:37:00.012-04:00

In November..

Asher learned how to shoot a gun during a camping trip to Georgia..

He experienced his first Thanksgiving..

And went to the beach for the first time..

In December..
He dressed up in a parka and saw the ICE! exhibit..
He got some Christmas kisses..
He happily drank his first milkshake..
He baked cupcakes with Dad on Christmas Eve..
He experienced Christmas morning!

In January..
He grew more handsome each and every day..
And knows how to ham it up for the camera..
He licked icing from the dish..
And dressed up as a girl for his little sisters' birthday..

In February..
Asher went to Disney World for the first time..
He met Mickey Mouse
He celebrated his first Chinese New Year here in America..
He celebrated my 18th birthday with me..

In March..
He promoted to a Camo belt in Karate..
His karate teacher jumped over his head..
He won two trophies at his Karate Competition
He enjoyed playing on a paddle boat in the lake..
He is playing the violin..
He accepted Jesus into his heart on Easter Sunday..

In April
He tied his little sister's flower bows to his hat..
He went down the slide for the first time..
He became Spiderman..

Just a few photo highlights of the last six months..

New Changes and Updates..

2008-04-26T16:40:00.003-04:00

As you can see by the change in our blog look.. Asher's blog is coming back!
In the next few weeks I'll start updating more, starting with an update
from where I left off in November.
I'm going to start blogging more about the continuation of Asher's life, his transition into our family, school, language and specifically his journey battling the cleft issues he faces.
Stick around!! =)

Asher and Santa Clause

2007-12-19T18:13:00.001-05:00

Asher's Firsts

2007-11-03T14:07:00.000-04:00

Adopting an older child presents the situation of missing their first moments- first smile, tooth, steps, word.. etc. It's often sad to think about the fact that we were never able to witness several of the major "firsts" for each of our adopted children. It's even sadder to think that we know nothing about Asher except for the fact that he was abandoned at a printing press right next to the orphanage when he was 2 weeks old. We have the dates for his cleft lip, palate and abdominal surgery.. but other than that we have nothing else to go on. We don't know if he had chicken pox, when he got his first tooth or what he's seen in his short life.
But with all that sadness.. we are able to witness several of Asher's firsts, which are just as special as seeing his first smile. =)
Asher has had a great month of firsts.. he participated in his first holiday celebration.. well, if you count Halloween a holiday! (Our kids sure do!) Asher attended two fall festivals, picked out pumpkins at the pumpkin patch, helped us carve pumpkins and dressed up as a Bionicle! (Ian picked out his costume!)
He's also starting to pick up a lot more English lately. Why is it that the first words our kids have learned always seems to be something we DON'T want them to say? Just last week there was a battle ensuing between two unnamed members of our family. As I stood there trying to referee the fight, I heard from across the hallway (clear as a bell) "SHUT UP.. (unnamed person)" I didn't know what to do.. laugh or scold? I ended up laughing because it was funny to hear him say something that he has (sadly) overheard. Guess we can add that to another of his firsts!
The last month has continued to be full of ups and downs, as is continued to be expected. Asher has his really good days, and then he has his bad days.
We're looking forward to celebrating another month with Asher during November. Especially since we have a few exciting things planned.. including Thanksgiving and a hunting trip to Georgia!!

For more pictures and updates, please visit us on our family blog: Two Twin Terrors. I'll continue to post monthly updates on this blog, but for now it's just much easier to post all of our updates on the other blog.

Another Asher Update =)

2007-10-12T16:49:00.001-04:00

It's amazing what just a few weeks do to you..

This time last month I was completely swamped with negative emotions toward Asher as you've already read in my previous post. Likewise, he was also filled with a mixture of anger, sadness and obstinance as he tried to find his place in the world and more specifically, in this family.

But this month, things are different...

I find myself full of a positive and encouraging attitude towards Asher, and I think he feels the same way. The past three weeks have still been full of ups and downs, but unlike before, the ups have finally outweighed the downs!

Adopting an older child can be compared to riding a roller coaster. It's full of ups and downs, twists and turns and moments when you ask yourself why you even went on this ride! However, just like every ride comes to an end, so do the hard times. The first month was BAD! That's the only way I can describe it. We were all doing our best to make sure we didn't offend him in any way, because that would save us from the screaming we would endure! Temper tantrums, crying and screaming became a daily part of our lives and it was always hard to have someone over during this time. If they didn't understand what we were going through, they would have thought we were trying to kill him!
But, slowly things started taking a turn uphill as situations in which he would have normally had a fit over, he didn't. Slowly, but surely he's started to understand what it's like to live in a family environment, what is expected of him and what is acceptable and what is not. It took a good full month (and even still today) of "training" him.. but it's working.

As month two is progressing, we're seeing lots of improvements in his behavior. And I expect that the next few months will only get better. Asher has such a servants heart and really loves to help in any way he can. Whenever he sees me getting dinner prepared, he races off and grabs dishes, silverware and cups to set the table with. He then counts to make sure he has enough for all nine people. Then he pours drinks, knowing who drinks what. He knows to pour milk for himself, Ian, Kayla, Esther and Emma. Then he goes and pours ice water for Elena and I. And then he goes and grabs Mom & Dad a beer from the fridge and even pops the tops off for them! He must have seen that done before because he knew exactly what tool to use to remove the tops.

He's excelling in schoolwork and doing so much better than I would have guessed. Although he prefers to count in Mandarin, he happily obliges to count in English and knows his numbers up to 12. He's learning phonics and starting to sound out words. And, he even knows how to add numbers in math! We had no idea he was capable of this since he was obviously holding out on us.

He enjoys attending karate and cub scouts with Ian. We belong to an active home school group, so there's always some kind of field trip or activity going on and we try to keep him involved in everything. Even if he doesn't understand, he tries to figure things out himself.

Last week, we bought him his early birthday gift.. his own bike! It still has the training wheels, but he'll be out of those in no time. He adores his bike and wants to ride it any chance he can get.

At home, he's doing great and is definitely starting to feel apart of our family more and more. With the girls, we felt like they had always been here and it's been different with Asher. But as the months progress I'm sure we'll feel the same way.

We have had our share of negative comments though. A few weeks ago, some kids in Elena's homeschool class started teasing Asher and calling him an "animal." Then one kid even said that he thought it was a mistake for us to bring Asher here and that "blending" the cultures just doesn't work. Those comments had me fuming mad.. but sometimes we have to remember that people just don't know what they are talking about and are naive. It makes me sad people look at him like that because if they just got to know him they would realize he really is a sweet boy and is only trying to find his place in this world. In a way you feel bad for him because he's the only Chinese speaking child who's constantly surrounded by people who don't think or look like he does. Plus, he's spent his whole life living in an orphanage so he doesn't know how to act and he forgets when he's not at home. It's not trying to make excuses for him, but that is what he is suffering from.
In public, Asher can appear to act like an "animal" because once he's out of his comfort zone (our house) he goes back to his original survival skills from the orphanage. We have to keep a careful watch on him whenever we take him places because he'll turn back to his old way and try to see just how far he can go. He gets overstimulated pretty easily, and that's something that will take time to cure. Esther was the same way and she got over it with time.
Tuesday night was the first time I took Asher somewhere by myself. (Other than rides in the car to karate) We went to the grocery store and he happily held my hand while carrying the basket and listened to everything I said. He was completely shocked by the variety (and amount) of food he saw, so of course he pointed out several things that he wanted. I told him no to almost everything and he happily obliged. For being a good boy, I let him pick out a special treat and he was so proud of himself. =)

He's really doing well and I'm so glad that most of those bad days are behind us. We still have some bad moments (like when he decides to pour an entire bottle of shampoo down the drain!) and he still spends quite a bit of time in the timeout chair, but all in all it's going so much better!

I know a lot of people have been reading my blog and wondering about adopting an older child, or are already in the process. A piece of advice I can give you:
HAVE LOTS OF PATIENCE!!
(and I hope you like roller coaster rides!)
*Remain encouraging
*Remember that it will get better
*Hang on to those handle bars!!
*Love your child no matter how hard they push you away.
It DOES get better.. =)

One Month Home

2007-09-23T20:51:00.001-04:00

Esther, Asher and Emma on the girls' first day of school

He loves his mei mei's

Jumping on the trampoline
(Notice Esther in the background.. I see soccer in her future!!)

Drawing pictures

Hanging out with Ian and Kayla

Enjoying a swim in the pool.. with some cool shades!

Helping me cook dinner

Asher and me

Enjoying some yummy food during Elena's 16th birthday party..

Asher enjoying the lake

It's hard to believe we've been home for a month.. feels like it's been much longer!! We pretty much came home from China and hit the ground running. School, work and everyday life began right after we came back and at times it was very tiring and emotionally tough. The last few weeks I just haven't had the time or the energy to blog. Looking back, it's probably a good idea because you wouldn't have wanted to hear what I thought just three weeks ago!!
Let's just say the last two weeks, I have seen a HUGE improvement in Asher- his attitude, behavior and personality. Those first few weeks were VERY tough.. it was like going through Esther's adjustment all over again. In a way, I felt like Esther's adjustment went a lot smoother than Asher's has. But now as I look back on it, their adjustments were sort of similar and but also, different. Esther would cry at the drop of a hat, yet she was small and "portable" and wouldn't hurt you. Asher is more go-with-the-flow, but he is capable of hurting someone, including me. During the first two or so weeks, the easiest thing for me to do was remove myself from the situation and just have nothing to do with him. I know it sounds awful, but it was the only way I could physically and mentally do what I needed to do.
I was convinced that Asher hated me. Every time he looked at me he would give me this dirty look, almost as if he was trying to play a game with me. He was always happy to say goodbye to me as I left, but then gave me the same dirty look as I came home. (Yet, whenever Elena, my dad or Kayla come home he was quick to greet them with hugs.) He also did not respect me at all and considered me just another child. I could ask him to come inside and he would know what I meant, yet he would purposely ignore me because he felt I wasn't worth respecting. So, I backed away. I made sure that I was never alone with him.. I took on more responsibilities like driving and grocery shopping if only I didn't have to be with him.
Yet it was hard, because I felt so much anger towards this kid. Our lives weren't perfect, but they sure were easier before he had come along. Now, it was a constant battle between him and everyone else, especially Ian.. yelling, screaming and Asher always attacking Ian. For me, it was easier to stay out of it so I wouldn't have to deal with it.
Fortunately, my mom has done a great job of handling Asher. I wasn't sure how she would be able to keep up with him and his behavior, but I underestimated her. I guess it really makes a difference with him being your child, versus your brother! For the first two weeks or so, she stayed home with Asher since he couldn't be left home with one of us. (Because he doesn't respect anyone except for my parents.) I could tell that the stress was getting to her.. but she has hung in there and done a great job. I honestly don't know if I would have been able to hang in there like she has. However, it just goes to show you that perseverance pays off!
Like the famous Annie song, "The sun will come out, tomorrow, Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun..Just thinkin about, tomorrow clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow, til theres none, When Im stuck with the day thats gray and lonely, I just stick out my chin and grin and say, ohhh, The sun will come out, tomorrow, So you gotta hang on til tomorrow...Come what may....." it did get better. Slowly, but surely I have seen Asher morph into a different person.. someone who is kinder, gentler and much more helpful. And my love for him has started to abound more and more each day. Now, I don't get the dirty looks anymore and he's the first to greet me when I come home!
I still am not ready to take Asher out anywhere by myself yet. Like Esther, he tends to get overstimulated if we take him somewhere, so we have to be careful. I can just imagine.. Asher and the grocery store.. oh that would be bad!! I can take him in the car and he does fine.. but we'll have to wait on special trips.
Last week, Asher went on two field trips with Mom and his school class, and he really enjoyed being out. One day they went to The Holy Land, a theme park built to look exactly like Jerusalem. Another day, they went and painted pottery since they are studying the Greek era in school.
As far as English, he's continuing to pick it up but isn't talking much yet. We continue to communicate using lots of hand gestures, but Asher understands almost everything we say. He understands simple things like "Go get the milk from the fridge" or "Clean up your toys" but it's the more complex things like "Asher, go find Kayla's wallet that you stole" that throw us for a loop. That's one thing we have had trouble with- stealing. So far he's stolen Elena's iPod, Mom's keys, Kayla's wallet and a few other items. It's normal for institutionalized children to do that, or any child for that matter. But it's difficult to explain to him that he can't take something that is not his.
Back to the speech issues.. Asher's difficulty in picking up English is because of his cleft palate. He goes tomorrow for his speech evaluation and will start speech therapy after that. I'm excited for him to pick up more English because it will make everything a lot easier on all of us! Then, he and Esther have an appointment with the cleft team on November 13th to discuss their clefts and possible surgeries. Asher has come to the age where he will soon need another surgery for his jaw, and maybe a revision on the lip. Hopefully, Esther won't need surgery for a few more years, but Asher probably will.
School. Asher's continuing to do well in school! He still attends a once a week program, and then is tutored twice a week. He knows his numbers 1-12 and is even starting to sound out words! It won't be long before he learns his ABC's and then starts reading.
Funny story- There are soda machines at the church where Asher goes to school, and he has figured out that if you put two quarters into the machine, a soda will magically pop out. The first week, he was unsuccessful in using his charm to get him a soda, so he figured he had to take matters into his own hands. I don't know where he got the money (probably from Ian's stash- hidden somewhere in their room) but he was gulping down his second soda by the time his teacher found him. So, needless to say, we have had to "frisk" him before he goes to class and his teachers are extra careful in watching him now.
Activities. Asher has joined his older sisters and brother in karate three times a week and is really enjoying it. It assists in the burning off of his energy and gives him something fun to do. It also teaches him discipline, and the karate school has been very understanding of Asher and his situation. He just received his equipment the other day and was thrilled to finally be one of the "big kids." Asher has also joined Ian in Cub scouts. We won't get him fully involved until next year, but he enjoys accompanying his brother to the meetings and taking part in the activities. I'd love to get him into soccer or baseball.. but that will have to wait until the spring when he has mastered enough English and the driving schedules aren't as hectic! He's a born athlete, so I can't wait to see it unleashed on the field!
Relationships. Asher completely adores Elena.. seems to get along just fine with Kayla.. and he and Ian are so so. Sometimes they are the best of friends, other times they are at each other's throats. Esther and Emma pretty much ignore Asher although I think that will change as they start to bond. Asher and I? Well.. it's a work in progress.. that's for sure. I know it will continue to get better as time goes on and it's already getting better with each passing day.
Friends. On Thursdays, our friend Mrs Campbell takes Asher to the park which helps him burn off some energy and gets him out of the house. He really enjoys going places and loves going with the Campbells. Mrs Campbell is a mom of two boys, so she knows how to be patient with him. There's also a special connection between them since Asher's middle name is in honor of her son Kyle, who passed away in July.
The meltdowns are few and far between. If he gets upset, he cries for a few minutes and moves on. I think he's realized that we don't kick or bite each other when we are angry, so he's letting that side of him go.
Things will continue to get better as time goes on. It's already been a month and things have gotten a TON better, so I expect them to continue to. Right now, I can't say that I would want to do this again.. because I'm definitely not in the position to say that! Adopting an older child definitely presents it's challenges, but there is also a lot of joy. Watching Asher eagerly help me set the table in preparation for dinner, or jubilantly help me carry the groceries inside makes my memories of the rough days disappear.
It's hard to find time to keep updating the blog, but hopefully I will continue to be able to update a few times a week. I know people reading our blog may be considering adopting an older child, or are preparing to bring one home. These are just my thoughts on our experience of adopting an older child..and hopefully it doesn't scare you! Our blog is meant to just be a story of our families journey through this process. Every child and every family is different, so some will have easier adjustments than others. We've had the good days and the bad.. so we know what it's like to be on either side of the fence. But the good news is that things do (eventually!) get better and we're here to support each other through this difficult and rewarding process.

Photo's from Guangzhou and Coming Home

2007-09-23T20:30:00.001-04:00

Our granite etching.. in progress!

Mom & Ian in Shamian Park

Asher

Family picture in front of the White Swan waterfall

Mom and her boys..

Family picture on the Red Couch
(The White Swan is famous for it's red couches in the lobby. In China the adoptive families have a tradition of taking pictures on the red couch.)

Asher with our Guangzhou guide Lily

Mom and I with Coco.. if you're in Guangzhou, make sure you stop and visit Coco at her store A Home of Love, located right next to the White Swan.

The boys in their traditional Chinese outfits

Brotherly love

The little man

Asher on the red couch

Ian and Asher

August 24, 2007, on our flight from Guangzhou-Hong Kong.. the first of many and over 30+ hours of travel

Welcome to Hong Kong!

Back on the airplane for our 14+ hour flight back to America..

Well.. some people got some sleep!

Oh, about six hours into the flight... Asher enjoying a little midnight snack.

The sunrise over the Pacific Ocean

Home- Asher with Esther

Home Sweet Home

2007-08-29T15:47:00.000-04:00

I apologize for the lack of an update.. we came home and started back to school, work and everything else right away so there hasn't been much time. Suffering from jet lag has also contributed to my delay in updating the blog. But.. it's good to be back, and so GOOD to be home! We've been home from China for five days now, but already it feels much longer. I guess I'll start where I left off which was back in Guangzhou, right?

We left Guangzhou in the early morning hours on Friday the 24th and didn't make it home until midnight the next day. I lost count of how long we were up for.. it was just a long journey home! The flight from Hong Kong to Chicago wasn't bad. We ended up with bulkhead seating which was almost as good as having those personal t.v. screens...which, to my dismay, we didn't have again. Fortunately, we were sitting in the front row so the t.v. was right in front of us! Asher did very well on the flights..it was definitely easier than traveling home with Esther last year. About three hours into the 14 hour flight, he was ready to get off the plane and didn't quite understand the fact that we couldn't exactly just get off since we were about 30,000 feet in the air. He sat in between my dad and I and it did get a bit frustrating at times! I don't think Asher has ever been in a situation where he has had to sit for a long period of time. After visiting the orphanage, it appeared that the kids were allowed to run around all day and do whatever they wanted, so sitting still is a new concept for him. Even though he was tired, he wasn't willing to give in to sleeping in his seat. I ended up putting his pillow on the floor and asked him if he wanted to sleep there and he did. I don't know how long he ended up sleeping because I fell asleep and didn't wake up until we were about to land.
We arrived in Chicago around 2:30 pm Central time and as Asher stepped off the plane he became an American citizen! We cleared customs and immigration without a hitch and also took care of some immigration paperwork for Asher before transferring over to the domestic terminal of the airport. I don't remember much from our time in Chicago because I was feeling really sick. We had a four hour layover before our flight to Orlando, so I went over to our gate and just slept on the floor. By the time I woke up, I was starting to feel better. There had been a lot of bad weather earlier so we weren't sure if our flight would make it out, but it did.
We finally arrived back home in not-so-sunny Florida just before midnight. (It was raining) Our good friends, Jared and Catie Pent picked us up from the airport and brought us home. The girls were all awake when we arrived and they welcomed us with a huge Welcome Home sign and food..America food! I don't remember much from that night except for scooping Emma and Esther up into my arms and not putting them down for quite awhile! Esther seemed to have grown up so much since I had last seen her. She's talking so much more and just seems a lot older!
It was just wonderful to be home after feeling so sick and being away for three weeks. Asher seemed to still just take everything in stride. I think it was a little overwhelming for him because our house must have seemed huge after living in hotel rooms the past two weeks. We also have four dogs, which Asher isn't used to.
I think we finally headed to bed around 3 am. Asher was awake just two hours later, so poor Elena and Kayla had to get up with him. I didn't wake up until 12:30 pm. Since China is very smoggy, the sun's rays are blocked and you don't need your sunglasses. I was almost blinded by the sunlight shining in through my bedroom window as I woke up that morning..or afternoon, actually!

That night the girls had planned a welcome home party for us so we had lots of close friends over. They brought us food and dessert and even some presents for Asher. For most newly adopted children, it wouldn't be a good idea to introduce them to so many new people after just coming home. But Asher is so easy going we knew he would do fine.. and he did. He loved meeting everyone and I think everyone enjoyed meeting him too.

Sunday morning we headed to church and Asher did great sitting quietly. He got a little bored towards the end so he started his usual seven year old antics, but other than that, he did great. We were singing a hymn with a chorus of "Alleluia" and as we were singing I could hear Asher's tiny voice singing right along with us! Sunday was a good day considering it was the first day we were all together. Asher did have his first meltdown, all because I wanted to change his shirt. He got pretty upset when I took a toy from him because he wasn't listening and that spun into a temper tantrum where he attacked me..hitting, pinching, kicking.. the works. Looking back, I realized I could have handled it better than I did, but I wasn't used to seeing him lash out like he did.

Monday was definitely a hard day for all of us. We started back to school last week and since we weren't here, there was a lot of school work to catch up on. Esther and Emma started back to preschool that morning, and Asher wanted to come too so I took him with me. One of my best friends' moms runs the preschool and I work there during the mornings, so they were excited to meet Asher. I think he enjoyed getting into all of the toys, but it only lasted about two hours before he was ready to go home! Once home, Mom was busy working with the kids on their schoolwork and Asher was getting bored. He's used to being outside and we've gone somewhere every day for the past two weeks, so he was not very excited about staying inside. He was not happy about the fact that we had to take a toy away from him because he was being too noisy and that turned into another meltdown. It only got worse because I had to leave and pick the girls up from school and he decided he was going to go with me.
As part of Asher's adjustment, we have to be careful of what we allow him to get away with and what he can't get away with. Because he wasn't listening and being defiant, we couldn't let him go with me because he would be winning the battle.. for lack of a better way to put it! Asher knows how to use his charming smile and temper to get what he wants, and he needs to learn that he's not going to get his way all the time. As I left, the temper tantrum began again and it soon turned into 45 minutes of rage and then grieving. I know it sounds awful.. and it was awful! He was crying, I was crying as I was leaving.. it was just awful.
We realize that he was grieving for someone because he kept repeating a name over and over. My guess is that he was crying for a favorite caretaker from the orphanage. I think he was tired of us and ready to go back to his normal life at the orphanage.
Even though it's hard, it is actually a good thing for him to be grieving. Asher has been "go with the flow" the last two weeks and has not shown any grief for the home and friends he left behind. As happy as we were that his adjustment has gone so well, we were a little worried because he wasn't missing anyone. As hard as it was to watch him go through that, to see him grieving was a good sign because it's only normal for him to do that.

Although he will be eight in November, Asher has had no schooling whatsoever. So not only does he need to learn an entirely new language, but he also has to learn simple things like writing his name, numbers, letters, etc. Since we are homeschooled, it gives us the flexibility to change the pace however we need to. If he went to public school, he would be in a class with 30 other children and completely lost. Not only would it overwhelm him, but he probably wouldn't get the one on one time he desperatly needs.
Instead, we are putting him in a once a week homeschool program that we all attend. He has two teachers who are a mother-daughter team and we've known them for 12 years. There are three other children in his class and it's a very hands on program. He won't be responsible for finishing all of his schoolwork, but merely to sit in class and soak in all he can. My dad came to this country when he was 14 years old from Chile, and he learned English by total emersion, so he believes that Asher will do well. In addition to that, one of our friends, who is a homeschool mom and a teacher, will be coming twice a week to work with him.

So, on Tuesday Asher had his first class and we weren't sure how he would do especially since he had had the meltdown. Mom dropped him off at school and waited by the phone, just incase. He did GREAT!! He loves his teachers Mrs Gwen and Mrs Haley, and they really enjoy him. Coincidentally, they are studying China right now! So.. hopefully Asher will continue to do well in the class. It also helps that Elena's class is also on Tuesdays so she will be just down the hall from him incase he needs anything.
Today Asher worked with Mrs Langford and he did great again! He's very smart and I think he's going to pick everything up fast. When I got home from school, he brought me over a yellow lego, pointed at it and said "yellow."

Asher started swimming lessons with Mr Phil on Monday and he's doing well. The first day, he loved it for about ten minutes and then decided he was done. Asher has a pretty short attention span, so when he's done with something.. he's DONE and doesn't expect anyone to tell him otherwise. However, his swimming teacher is just as stubborn as he is.. so Asher kept swimming. He wasn't very happy about it. The next day, he was excited to get his swimsuit on but the second he saw Mr Phil, he ran upstairs to his room and put his shorts back on. I ended up having to carry him down the steps..kicking and screaming. He went swimming with his shorts on, but stopped crying after the first ten minutes. Fortunately, Ian also goes in the pool with him, and helps Mr Phil by showing Asher what to do.
I know not everyone will agree with our decision to put him in swim classes the week after we got home, but it's necessary. We live on a lake and have a swimming pool in our backyard and Asher has no fear of water. No matter how much we try to always watch him, there's no stopping him from going outside and jumping in. It would be different if he was younger, but since he is older he needs to learn. Esther started swim lessons the week after she came home too. She screamed during every lesson, but with a few weeks she had learned the skills to be able to save herself incase she ever fell in. We have a great swim teacher who's very good with the kids. Our goal is to teach Asher the skills to be able to save himself incase he falls in. We'll work on strokes and other stuff later.
Today, Asher didn't cry at all and happily did everything he was asked to do. He even gave Mr Phil a hug!! He does love the pool, so I'm glad he's learning to swim so he can participate in swimming and tubing with us.

It's a huge adjustment for all of us, especially Asher. He's struggling to learn a new language and what it's like to live in a family environment, while also suffering from jet lag and eating new foods that are like nothing he's used to eating. But.. it will get better! We've been through this before with Esther's adoption last year. She still has her moments of feeling insecure, but overall she is doing great.

The kids all seem to be getting along well. Asher just adores Elena and Kayla, and his new little sisters. He's happy to assist us in any way he can whether it's emptying the dishwasher or helping take the trash out. He loves to help his little sisters play dress up, or sit and watch a movie with them. The day after we got home, the girls were showing Asher the playroom and Emma was quick to point out what he could and could not play with! The first thing she told him was "Asher, these are my dress up clothes. You CANNOT touch them because you will mess them up. Okay?"

I think he and Esther are going to fight the most since their personalities are so similar. But, I think they are also going to be great friends when they are older because they have both been through the same thing. During Asher's meltdown on Monday, Esther was the only one who was able to get him to stop crying. A lot of people have asked us if she remembers any Chinese, and the answer is no. I think she may be able to understand what he is saying, but she can't speak to him in Chinese.

Everything in our house is new and exciting to him. I don't think he's ever seen a refrigerator the size of the one we have.. and with nine people in this house, you need a big one! Asher doesn't understand the dangers of a stove or oven because he's probably never seen them before. Tonight, as I was cooking, I turned the gas stove on and he immediatley wanted to touch the flames! So as gently and firmly as I could, I told him NO! Don't do that because you will get hurt! Fortunately, he didn't touch it.. but he didn't believe me about the oven because he went and touched it anyways and realized that it was hot! He does know what the word hot means because as he touched the burning oven he yelled "HOT!"

The next few months will be full of ups and downs and we are all aware of that. But it's going to be exciting to watch him blossom. I can't wait to hear him start talking in English, and to watch him on the jet ski for the first time. He's so smart and quick to learn things that I'm sure he'll catch up with his peers in time.

Well.. I think I wrote enough to hold you all over until I can find another chance to write again. I've got pictures.. but those will have to wait until I can get them uploaded, hopefully tomorrow.

Also.. we've had several people contact us who are interested in adopting Jie, Asher's friend. At this point, we are still trying to locate his paperwork. It could be anywhere at this point, so we just need prayer that his paperwork is located and sent out to an agency here in the USA... preferably, our agency! We are so thankful for your prayers, but please continue to pray for Jie. He has several families who want to make him their son.. we just need to find his paperwork so they are able to do that.

(P.S. If you are trying to contact me and have left comments on my blog.. please e-mail me! I can't respond to most of the comments because there is no e-mail address to respond to! You can e-mail me at svmanubens@mac.com.)

Time to Sign Off from China

2007-08-23T06:55:00.000-04:00

And so here it is.. our last day in China on our last adoption trip. It's always a bittersweet feeling on the last day, and there's no exception to it today. We are all very excited to be going home.. our family and friends are awaiting us back in Florida and so are our comfy beds and clean tap water. But at the same time, you can't help but feel a little sad as you leave the place you've called home for the past two weeks. This is my third trip in three years and to realize that I won't be back here for quite a long time is a little sad. We've made memories here in China that will last for a lifetime, and we've also met many new friends.

Today we drove to the American Consulate in downtown Guangzhou and took an oath that we promised to care and love Asher for the rest of our lives. With that, we were given a packet of paperwork (that we were told not to open until we get to Chicago!) and in it contains his visa..his one way ticket to the Unites States of America! As soon as Asher's feet touch the ground in Chicago, he will become an American citizen. To celebrate today, we dressed him and Ian up in their matching red, white & blue polo shirts. If they don't scream "I'm an American kid", I don't know what does!

The highlight of my day was running into an old friend while at the Consulate. We had just walked through the doors and were about to sit down when I spotted a familiar face. I took a second glance and realized who it was.. Rebecca, our guide from our adoption trip last year! I wasn't sure if she would remember me, but she instantly knew who I was and gave me a hug. I guess we were a little hard to forget.. especially Esther. She took such good care of us last year, despite the fact that we (and the Cope's) were always late to everything and even had problems with our paperwork! But Rebecca is amazing and she took care of everything. It was great getting to talk to her again and catching up. Coincidentally, she had just been in Florida the month before. I'm just glad to see she is still facilitating adoptions.. I'm glad we didn't scar her for life! We exchanged e-mails, so hopefully we can keep in touch better. I just wish we had had Esther with us so she could see what a difference a year and a half makes. I don't believe it was a coincidence that we ran into her in a city of 12 million people.. it was an act by God that we were able to meet up again. (To read more about our trip to China last year, you can go to Esther's blog at: http://www.tochina4esther.blogspot.com )

We also ran into another family who adopted with Lifeline two years ago- the Hurley's! They are here adopting their second daughter. Asher has fallen in love with their older daughter, Emmie who's about three years old. The two of them sat together on the bus ride back to the hotel and had a blast playing together. I'm sure glad he loves Emmie.. because he's going to have an Emma and Esther to play with when he gets home!

We ended up buying two more suitcases, both for about $30, to bring home all of our new treasures. Hopefully we've packed everything well enough that nothing will break.

If you're ever in Guangzhou, make sure you visit the "A Home of Love" store located just outside the 1st floor of the White Swan on the right. Most of what we bought came from this store because they have such a great selection and the shop keepers are so nice! Yesterday we met Coco, who works at the store and she us great deals on everything we bought. So make sure you stop in and visit Coco.

Tomorrow morning we have a 5 am wake up call. We will fly from Guangzhou to Hong Kong, then on to Chicago and then to Orlando. Please pray that Asher is able to sit still for the 14+ hour flight.. we honestly have no idea how he will do!!

I'll add photos once we get home, but the camera's packed away and we're getting the boys to bed and finishing the packing! Jared Pent.. I hope you bring the van and be prepared.. we've got six suitcases and seven carry ons!!!!!!

Well, it's time to sign off from China. You'll hear more from us once we get home. It's been an awesome trip and we are so glad you could journey with us to China. Now we're off to finish the last part of our journey.. going home!

Zai jian!

Another Day in China

2007-08-23T05:54:00.000-04:00

Mom & Dad enjoying lunch at Lucy's
(with Asher in the background)

Me and the boys

Playing at the park

Soldiers were doing training exercises in the park

Cute baby in the park

Dad trying out the exercise equipment

Asher and his new little friend

Now that's what I call a fully loaded bicycle!

Here's a perfect picture to describe what Asher is like..
One second he was hanging off that wheel and smiling, and in the time it took me to click the button, he was already on his way...

You can't go far without finding a Starbucks..

Asher being silly in one of the shops

Artist working on our granite etching

We went shopping.. =)

The boys enjoying some yummy maccaroni n cheese from Danny's Bagels

Our third day here in Guangzhou consisted of shopping, shopping and oh yes, shopping! Like I said before, the streets here on Shamian Island are lined with shops that sell about every type of Chinese item you could think of. You can find any type of silk dress, outfit or shirt in any color for any size! And if they don't have what you want, they'll just make it for you. Most of the Chinese silk dresses sell for as little as $7, but if you buy a lot of them you can barter them down to about $4-$5. There's also lots of squeaky shoes which sell for about $2-$5. Almost all of the stores sell the same thing so they are always trying to compete with each other to give you the best price.

We’ve found the best stores to shop at are Jennifer’s Place, Jordan’s, the Arts & Crafts store and the one right outside the White Swan (I can’t think of the name right now.)

After another wonderful breakfast, our guide Lily took Dad and the boys to the toy market in search of the $3 gameboy games sold there. With the boys gone, Mom and I headed out into the streets and started the shopping! I won't go into detail of all the things we bought since it would probably bore you, but we've got probably 10-12 bags worth of stuff and we will probably need another suitcase in order to get all of this stuff home. Since this is our last trip to China (at least for a very long time!) we are stocking up on the things we haven’t gotten yet and mostly buying gifts for our friends and family back at home!

If you ever find yourself in Guangzhou, make sure you head to Jordan's shop which is located right across from Lucy's and away from the hustle and bustle of the other stores. Jordan is a Chinese man who we met last year when we adopted Esther. His shop sells pretty much the same thing every one else's does.. but he's never pushy about selling his products like the other shop keepers are. At every other store we were in, we had about five or six ladies following us and any time you make eye contact with a particular item they assume you are going to buy it! Jordan is such a sweet man and he actually recognized me from last year, how funny is that? I'm sure he meets thousands of adoptive families every year, and to think he remembered me. =) So of course, we ended up buying several things from Jordan!

There are several parks in and around Shamian Island, so we took the boys to the playground to help them burn off some energy. Asher enjoyed playing with a younger Chinese boy who was there and the two of them had a blast running around. We did some more shopping before we ran out of yuan, so we headed back to the hotel and Dad took the boys swimming. Asher is doing great in the pool! You would never realize that this is only his third time in a swimming pool. He has no fear whatsoever, and just makes his way around the pool by hanging on to the side. Good thing he starts swimming lessons on Monday!

We ordered dinner from Danny's Bagels, which is a takeout restaurant here in Guangzhou that serves some of the best Italian food I have ever tasted! If you come to Guangzhou, you can download a menu off of www.dannysbagels.com and they will deliver to your hotel room.

We did have one unexpected encounter tonight! Mom ordered a few gifts from one store and we went to pick them up tonight. Dad negotiated the price a little, payed, and that was the end of it.. or so we thought! I found something at the next store that I wanted to buy, so I asked Dad if he would lend me $50 yuan, and handed it to the lady. There's a lot of fake money going around here, so the shop keepers are always checking the bills to see if they are real. Imagine my surprise when the 50 yuan bill we had just gotten back (as change) from the lady next door ended up being fake! I guess since my Dad had bartered her price down from what she really wanted, she was going to have the last laugh. Fortunately, because it had just happened and the lady was right there, Dad went back and caught her on what she had done. She must have felt embrassed! Good thing the other shop keeper caught that, or else we would have been out $50 yuan. That's the first time we've ever had anything like that happen.

As most of you know, Mom is quite a social butterfly so we have met lots of adoptive families! We’ve met families from all over.. most from America and even a few from Ireland! Some are here adopting their first child, others their second and some have kids already. I’ve noticed a lot of families here adopting special needs children too. Must be because the wait for a healthy infant has stretched to almost two years. It’s a good thing because the special needs orphans deserve a home just as much as the healthy babies do. Most children labeled “special needs” have medical problems that can easily be repaired like cleft lip and palate and heart defects. Both Esther and Asher have repaired cleft lips and palates and it’s hard to even consider it a special need! The only obstacles we will encounter are the fact that both of them will need another surgery in the future, and Mom & Dad will probably spend a fortune in orthodontic work too. Of course, they’ve already spent a fortune in orthodontic work on their biological kids’ teeth!! Esther and Emma see a speech therapist twice a week, and Asher will also.

Asher should be a poster child for special needs/older child adoption.. he has been great! Several people have already commented on the fact that Asher has inspired them to adopt an older child. Everyone we have met here cannot believe that we have only had him for a week. Most have assumed that we adopted him as a baby and are here visiting! As much as I miss adopting a baby, adopting an older child has been a breeze. He doesn’t need diapers, he can feed himself and he sleeps through the night! He has his moments, but all in all he’s doing great. I really can’t believe how easy his transition has been. We give all the credit to God and your prayers!

Asher is very good with younger children, especially babies. He is very patient and loves to share his toys with them. He’s especially fond of the younger kids around the age of four. I think that comes from the fact that his best friend Sophie is about four or five years old and they were very close. I can’t wait for him to meet Esther and Emma.. they are going to have a blast together.

There are also quite a few families here with their older Chinese daughters who were adopted as babies and are back visiting. That’s something we plan on doing in about five years when the girls are a little bit older. We want to bring the whole family and spend a few weeks in China visiting the kids’ orphanages and birth cities.

Tomorrow is our last day in China, so we’re going to enjoy it and bask in the fact that we will be heading home the next day!!!!

Guangzhou, At Last

2007-08-21T03:42:00.000-04:00

Well, we have finally arrived here in Guangzhou, China- our last stop on the adoption journey. And, boy are we glad to be here! The change of scenery has helped take our minds off of missing home so much.

Our flight to Guangzhou wasn't until 1:30 pm, so we took our time eating breakfast, packing, talking to the girls over webcam, etc. We're used to being at the airport two hours before the flight leaves, but we learned that's not how the Chinese do it. We arrived right at 11:15 preparing to check in and wait.. but they weren't checking anyone in until 12:15! So, we waited.. checked out the airport and realized there was a KFC on the 2nd floor! We finally heard them call for us to check in and we joined in line with the other hundred Chinese for our flight. After we got checked in, we headed to KFC and enjoyed some tasty American food!

Then we headed to our gate and waited. Our tickets said that our flight would depart from Gate 1, but on the screen they said we would leave from Gate 2. Well, us and about 500 Chinese were all confused because they kept switching gates on everyone. One minute our gate was set up for a flight to Chengdu.. and then you'd hear the Gate attendant say something in Chinese and about 100 people running to another gate. A few minutes later, the English translation would come over the loudspeaker and we realized the gates had changed. It happened about 3 or 4 times and was pretty funny to watch!

Asher on his first flight..Shenyang-Zhengzhou

Our flight made a quick stop in Zhengzhou, so it took us nearly 6 hours to get to Guangzhou. Asher did very well on the plane flights. He ate (a lot) and watched the movies they had playing. Both his gameboy and leapster had died, so he couldn't play either of them. He did well.. but I'm still not sure of how the 14 hour plane ride will go.

We were greeted by some rainy weather which ended up delaying our landing and we didn't arrived until 7:30 pm. We collected our bags and met our new guide, Lily. She's very nice, but her English is not as good as Hannah's so she is a little hard to understand!

As we pulled up to the familiar White Swan hotel, I felt like I was coming home. This is my third time staying here and each time I've always looked forward to arriving. Those of you who have stayed here know what I'm talking about. It's like a second home to me.

The hotel is located on beautiful Shamian Island in the middle of Guangzhou. It sits right on the Pearl River which seperates it from the rest of the city. The weather is warm and tropical and the people are very kind.. and speak English! Many adoptive families stay here so everywhere you look you see American couples and their new Chinese children. This was a welcomed sign because we haven't seen any American looking people in over a week!

The American Embassy is located here in Guangzhou, so every adoptive (American) family has to travel here in order to receive their child's visa. The Embassy used to be located just down the street from the White Swan, so that's why many adoptive families have stayed here. The Embassy has since moved to a new location about 45 minutes away, but the island caters to adoptive families so most end up staying here.
The streets are lined with many shops where you can buy many traditional Chinese artifacts. And there are several restaurants here including Lucy's, which serves American food!

After checking in (and meeting several American families) we headed to the room. For the first time in the three times we've stayed here, we finally got a room with a view of the river! Our first two trips we had views of the city, which was nice.. but a river view was just the icing on the cake!

We were all hungry so we headed over to Lucy's where we gorged ourselves on the best American food I've had in over two weeks! =) I do love Chinese food, but after awhile it gets a little old. With full bellies, we came back to our room and enjoyed our first night back in the White Swan. The beds even felt just a tad bit softer than our concrete mattresses in Shenyang.

This morning we awoke to more rain, but we're kind of used to that. We talked to the kids on webcam for about an hour and then headed down for breakfast, which is one of the best parts of the White Swan! It's neat to sit and watch the new parents with their babies. You can just tell who they are by the joy on their faces! Hard to believe we were here exactly three years ago with Emma.. and now here we are, adopting #3!

All adopted children are required to have a medical exam in order to obtain their American visa, so we headed over to the medical clinic for Asher's appoinment. Asher's healthy- no surprise there! He weighs 49.5 pounds, which means he has gained almost 4 pounds since being with us! I told you this kid could eat!

Guangzhou is known for it's shopping and there are many places to buy beautiful jewelery including pearls and jade, for cheap prices. That's always a favorite of ours and we visited two stores before finding prices we liked. Mom picks out the goods, and Dad does the bargaining!

We then headed back to the island and had lunch at Lucy's. Right now my parents are doing paperwork with Lily and the boys are playing with cars. Once they're done, we'll head out to start the shopping! If any of our friends back at home want us to get them something in particular, please let me know by either e-mailing me or leaving a comment.

Three more fun filled days to go... =)

The boys being silly, as usual

Playing cars in the hotel room

Mom got her much anticipated "Coming Home" Barbie!
It's a special doll made my Mattell of Barbie with an Asian baby, and it's exclusively available to those who adopt and stay at the White Swan. This is our 3rd barbie doll, and we actually got two this time because we are staying in separate rooms. We will probably donate the other one to Love Without Boundaries, for their yearly auction which benefits the orphans in China.

The White Swan's lobby

Asher at the medical exam with the same doctor who examined Esther when we were here last year!

This man is 76 years old and has been studying calligraphy since he was 6 years old.
I don't know his name, but he's one of the best in all of China.
He can even write calligraphy with his feet!
Here's he is working on a poem we had made of Asher's name.

Dad and Asher enjoying some tea

Asher "riding" on a horse made of jade.. which he probably wasn't supposed to do!

Lunch at Lucy's

View of the hotel

Streets of Shamian Island

View of the Pearl River from out hotel room

Guangzhou, Here We Come!

2007-08-19T08:28:00.001-04:00

Today was our final day here in Shenyang and for the first time in a week, we did nothing but rest! This was the first day that Ian and I weren't up at 5 am like we usually are. I think we slept in until about seven o' clock. I might have slept longer, but Asher woke us up because Hannah was leaving today. Both Steven and Andy start school tomorrow, and so Chelsea and Hannah had to leave today and head back home because they do not live here in Shenyang. We were sad to see them go and will miss having them around. They took such great care of us here in Shenyang and Dandong. Even when we were just feet from the North Korean border, I felt safe having Hannah with us.

After breakfast, Dad and I decided to take the boys to the park instead of them being cooped up in the hotel all day. The concierge gave us directions to a nearby park that was only about five minutes away. His directions were wrong, but we ended up finding the park anyways!

We came to a large area that was actually more like an amusement park. There were lots of kiddie rides and of course, that sparked Asher's curiosity. The rides were all about 10 yuan a piece, or a little more than a U.S. dollar. And the kids could stay on the ride for as long as they wanted.. or until the ride attendant told them to get off. We did bumper cars, the ferris wheel, a water ride, the merry go round, and a few others. The park reminded me a lot of our Cypress Gardens back home.

One thing I cherish about the Chinese culture is how they value the importance of family and community. There were people of all ages enjoying the park.. young parents taking their child on some rides, old couples playing a game of cards or listening to music, and even teenagers on a date! They all seemed to be having fun and you can tell it's something they do often. There are parks like that one all over China and it's fun to be able to live in their world for awhile.

We looked quite funny walking through their park since we were the only non-Chinese people! Asher did most of the communicating for us and would let the ride attendants know what rides he wanted to get on and when he wanted to get off.

One thing I've noticed, but haven't mentioned is that Asher LOVES cars! Any kind of car.. he loves. We brought a bag full of matchbox cars and he loves to sit and play with them. So, it wasn't a surprise that he ended up on every single ride that had anything to do with cars. He likes to take the Jenga blocks we brought and make ramps for his cars. It's cute to watch.

Tonight at dinner, Asher had a little bit of a meltdown because we wouldn't let him have soda. (Soda before bedtime is not a good idea.. sugar + him is not a good match.) He even went behind our backs and told the waiter he wanted soda.. but little did he know I could understand what he was asking for! He wasn't happy at all when we told him no, and he started crying and wouldn't even touch his food. We ended up giving in a little and told him if he ate his dinner, he could have some soda. He got the idea and started eating his food right away. It was funny because he finished drinking his water before he started on the soda. Then he ate an entire plate of noodles. This kid can sure eat! You guys at home think Esther can eat? Wait 'til you meet Asher!

Asher continues to charm everyone he meets with his smile. He sure knows how to use it. Our waitress was completely smitten with him tonight at dinner. I think she was smitten with all of us because she kept bringing us out dessert! We had some extra yuan left over so we bought some little cakes. I don't know why, but next thing I know she brings over a whole fruit cake and sets it down in front of me! I didn't want any, but I could tell she wanted me to eat it, so I had a few bites just so I wouldn't offend her. She even brought me a box to put the cake in so I could take it home. It was an okay cake.. but it won't be finding it's way into my stomach anytime soon!

The boys are both sleeping now and I think I'll be heading to bed soon, too.

We've really enjoyed our stay here in Shenyang, but we are glad to be getting on with our journey. Tomorrow, we head south to the city of Guangzhou where the American Embassy is located. We have to stay in Guangzhou for a few days so we can receive Asher's visa for him to come to the USA. Guangzhou is about two hours from Hong Kong, and we will be staying in a nice area called Shamian Island. We've stayed there before both in 2004 and 2006 and are looking forward to going back! =)

Elena, Kayla, Esther & Emma, we miss you a lot and can't wait to talk to you on the webcam tomorrow! Have fun at church and be good for Mr and Mrs Campbell!

Goodnight, from Shenyang!

Asher's Version of "Mama Hao"

2007-08-19T08:20:00.001-04:00

Asher is on the phone with Esther, singing "Mama Hao" to her.

"Mama Hao" is a traditional Chinese song that both Asher and Esther learned in their orphanages. You all might remember that this was Esther's favorite song, and she sung it all the time! Here's a link to view a video of Esther singing Mama Hao when we were in China last year. (She seems like such a baby in this video!)

Here are the words of the song, translated into English:

"Only mommy is the best in the world.
When a child has a mommy, she feels treasured.
When she gets in mommy's arms,
there is endless happiness and joy.
When a child does not have a mommy, she is most worried and anxious.
A child without a mommy is like a weed.
Away from mommy's arms,
where can she find happiness?"

The Great Wall

2007-08-19T01:31:00.000-04:00

Greetings from Shenyang! We arrived back here last night after a long day of touring Dandong, which included our much anticipated visit to the Great Wall! I took about 100+ pictures yesterday and (I think) they turned out so well that I can't choose which ones to post! So I'm uploading all of them onto my Mac photosite and you can see them by clicking HERE. (There's three pages of pictures, so make sure you click on the links "Great Wall Parts 2 & 3")

As we woke up yesterday, we were greeted by more foggy weather but the rain held off until later in the afternoon. We ate breakfast, packed, checked out of the hotel and headed to the Wall. Joining us on our trip was one of the nannies from Asher's orphanage, along with her daughter and niece. Even though we're not traveling with a group of families, it sure feels like it when our whole group is together.

How do you describe the Great Wall? I don't think there's enough words to justify it! It's such an amazing experience being able to climb something that is so old and such a part of China's history. Getting to climb the wall stands high on my list of things I have accomplished. It's something I will always remember doing. I couldn't help but think as I was climbing, of all the people who have walked up those steps and of those who lie buried there. I climbed the Beijing section of it back in 2004, and I'm still in awe of it's beauty. And the amount of work it takes to climb it! Forget dieting.. just climb the first set of steps every day and you'll be fit for the rest of your life.

I'd say it took us a good 2-3 hours to get up to the top, and back down. This part of the wall here in Dandong is the Eastern most part of the wall and it extends several thousand miles all the way to western China. It was a lot easier climbing this section because it was a mixture of both steps and walking. Whereas in Beijing, it's several thousand steps straight up! Don't get me wrong.. it was still a very steep climb.. especially when the steps go straight up and are about 2 feet tall.

We were all doing pretty well until we got about halfway and Mom decided she was done. And if you know my mother, when she says she's done.. she's done!! There's nothing that could get her to keep going, even if you had told her George Clooney was standing at the top! Hannah stayed back with Mom and the rest of us continued our trek upwards. Of course, the boys had to leave a part of them on the Great Wall, so they took several bathroom breaks.

One thing about China- the bathroom is any where you want it to be, especially if you're a little boy. I think both boys have gone more outside than they have in the toilet. But if I had the option, I'd probably go outside too! Most of the toilets that we have encountered here have been the squatty type-where you squat over them. Anyways, I digress!

I found the easiest way to get up the wall was to run up the steps, take a break, then run up the next section! And that worked pretty well for us. After what seemed like an eternity, we finally made it to the top section, and the view was absolutely incredible. If China wasn't so polluted and smoggy, we would have been able to see farther out. The city of Dandong is only 15 minutes away, but we couldn't even see the tall skyscrapers from the top. But we could sure see North Korea!!

Fortunately, they sell popsicles and drinks at the top of the wall, which was a relief. (I wouldn't want to be the poor person who has to carry that stuff to the top though!) We stayed and enjoyed the view before beginning our descent down the other side. I wasn't looking forward to the trip back, but Chelsea said that there was a boat ride back to the entrance on the other side.

Going down is definitely harder! Especially juggling a camera, video camera and wobbly legs! But, I remembered my trick from the last time I was there- walking down sideways!

We finally reached the bottom and got to the part where we could get on the boat ride.. except for one problem.. Dad had thrown our tickets away! They didn't make it clear that we would need them and the Chinese keep everything, so they were puzzled when Dad said he had thrown them away. The person who collects tickets started calling her supervisor and it was a little tense for a few moments because there was no way we were about to climb back up the wall, and then back down again! I would have rather swam across the river and gone to North Korea!

So while we were waiting, all of a sudden I see Mom and Hannah at the top of the wall making their way down. Like I said before, Mom was done and didn't want to go any farther.. and here she was climbing down. Dad and I were in awe and wanted to take Hannah home with us because she had convinced Mom to go! We cheered them on as they made their way down. I don't know how she did it, but Hannah was able to convince my mother-the epitome of stubbornness-down that wall!

Once we had Hannah, we worked out the situation and were able to take the boat ride back to the entrance. Boy, I sure love that woman! We started heading outside of the wall to the small river where the boat would pick us up. I joked around that we shouldn't cross to the other side because it was probably North Korea.. and imagine my surprise when Hannah confirmed my thoughts! Seriously... I could have jumped over the river and landed on North Korea, that's how close we were. We could stand in the river, but the second our feet touched the soil on the other side we would be shot. (Apparently the N. Korean soldiers hide in the bushes!) A little too close for comfort in my opinion, but still cool pretty neat!

The boat took us back to the entrance, we hopped on the bus and headed for lunch at the home of a Chinese family. They served us the most wonderful duck I have ever tasted! It was sooooo good, that we finished it all up within ten minutes of them putting it on the table.

After lunch, we started the 3 1/2 hour trip back to Shenyang. Asher did pretty well on the bus ride, he slept off and on and had one meltdown because he wanted to play Ian's game. I had a horrible headache and the fact that the trip took longer than usual didn't help much. We stopped in the city of Benxi to drop Chelsea and the boys off at a water cave. (We were going to visit, but were way to tired.) We didn't get back into Shenyang until 6:30 and then checked back into our hotel. It felt so good to be back "home" at our hotel and in our original rooms.

It was a great experience spending time in Dandong, but I was sure glad to be back in Shenyang! For dinner, we were going to have something America so we headed to Pizza Hut! It was pretty good, although I'm not sure the Chinese understand the concept of pizza sauce, since there wasn't any on our pizza. Asher sure enjoyed his first pizza and ate three pieces!

While we were walking to Pizza Hut, we witnessed several beggars on the street. Ian was especially upset by one young girl who rolled around on a skateboard because she had no legs. As we waited for our table, Ian asked if he could give her some money. As we were walking back from giving her money, he told me "That felt really good helping someone." I was really proud of him for doing that. =)

I think this experience has done a lot for Ian. Especially meeting the kids from the orphanage like Jie, who's the same age as Ian and has no family. I hope he will be able to remember a lot from this trip to China. He's been writing in his journal and I told him if he was good and kept up with that, I'd let him make a post on the blog.

Asher is continuing to do well. He did awesome on the Great Wall! I wasn't sure if he would be able to keep up with everyone, but he was the first one to reach the bottom and never complained. He told Chelsea that he has been here before, so I guess the orphanage had brought them. Originally, if we went to the Wall on Friday, the kids from the orphanage were going to come too. But because it rained and we couldn't go, the kids weren't able to come with us. That was a disappointment because I was hoping to spend more time with them, especially Jie.

Asher is quite the athlete, which is good since none of us are very talented in sports. It's funny that all of our Chinese kids are pretty athletic. Emma's going to be a gymnast some day.. she's very flexible and strong. Esther will tear up the soccer field. I'm thinking soccer, baseball or maybe even football for this little guy!

He seems to understand almost everything we say to him, and we're starting to understand him more. He first tries to talk to us and if that doesn't work, then he uses hand motions. Communication hasn't been a big problem. Mostly it's been the fact that he's 100% boy and he's never had freedoms like this before. Even though he's 7 1/2 years old, emotionally he's much more like a 5 year old. It's hard to describe him now, but for those of you at home, you will understand when you meet him.

It will get a lot better when we come home and have a stable environment for Asher. Right now, we're staying in different cities, different hotel rooms, new guides, etc. When you've lived in the same environment for so long it's hard to adapt to a whole new way of life. Asher's done very well and doesn't get overstimulated like Esther did. But I know his behavior will be a lot better once we come home. We've got work ahead of us with him, but he'll do fine. Once he realizes there are rules and certain ways he cannot act, he will understand. But to him, we're just a bunch of strangers telling him what to do.

Compared to Esther's adoption and transition, this one has been a piece of cake!! Esther's doing great now, but those first few months were very rough. She had constant temper tantrums and cried every night for the first three months. It took awhile for her to adjust and trust us. It was rough, but we got through it. Asher's done great.. sure he has some behavior issues, but after what he's been through, it's understandable. He seems to trust us, which is a good sign! I think Esther and Asher are a lot alike, so it will be interesting to see how those two get along. Mom thinks they will have a hard time at first, but we will see.

I think we are all ready to come home!! I always enjoy my trips to China and never want to leave, but right now I would be on the next plane home if I could. It's just been a lot emotionally between Haiti, coming home and then China. I feel like I've been gone for so long- I left for Haiti on August 3, came home for a few hours and left again for China. I haven't even had time to process my Haiti trip.. there was so much that I experienced there and already I feel like it happened so long ago. And now there's a hurricane hitting Haiti, where I was just one week ago!! See what I mean by wanting to come home?

We miss the girls a lot. Fortunately, our webcams have been a HUGE help! We talk to them almost every day and night and that's been getting us through. But it breaks my heart when Esther and Emma tell me, "Sera, I miss you!"

Just five more days!!!

Don't forget about the photos:
For the first page, click here
For the second, here
and then the third, here.

It's our last day in Shenyang, and I'm headed out to see where Dad and the boys are. I'll blog more later.

Rainy Day in Dandong

2007-08-17T18:47:00.000-04:00

Ian and I are usually awake around 5 am...
so he plays gameboy and I blog until Asher is awake.

The boys throwing darts

Sorry for the delay..
Last night I was way to tired to even think about blogging!! So, I'll catch you all up on what we did yesterday.

We were supposed to go climb the Great Wall in the morning, but the rain prevented us from doing that. It started raining around 7 am, and didn't quit until after lunch. After breakfast, Hannah, Chelsea, Andy, Steven, Dad, Ian, Asher and I went over to the sports center in the hotel and played badmitton (spelling?) and ping pong. I'd never played badmitton before and after the first 20 minutes I was about to give up because I was doing so poorly. That's not surprising.. I'm not a very gifted athlete! But Chelsea was very patient with me and after I practiced a bit, we had a pretty good game going! (I'm used to playing tennis.. and badmitton is quite different!) Dad and Hannah played some great games of ping pong.. Hannah really gets into the game! We played for about an hour, but it got very hot in the sports center so we left and headed back to the hotel room.

Playing Ping Pong

Highlight of my day- we found Chinese Red Bull!!
However, it was way too sweet

Like they are usually doing, the boys played their game boys and Mom & I caught up on e-mail. We headed down for lunch and by the time we were finished, the rain had stopped.

The Great Wall was completely out of the question now, so we headed outside and walked on the bridge that you've seen in the pictures from my last post. The "Broken Bridge" is in the front and stretches halfway over the Yalu River, which seperates Mainland China from North Korea. It was bombed by the USA during World War II and never rebuilt. Since then, the Chinese reconstructed part of it and now it's a big tourist attraction.

In the background, you will see another bridge.. though I don't know the name of it. Only the Border Patrol is allowed to use it because it connects China to North Korea. There were a lot of people on the Broken Bridge, but we only saw maybe five people on the other one.

The weather was foggy, but nice and we really enjoyed our walk along the bridge. Asher enjoyed running around and saying "Hello" to everyone.

Compare the two cities.. here is Dandong

And here is North Korea
(the pictures are kind of foggy because it had been raining)

Asher being silly

North Korea

An amusement park ride in North Korea.. but we never saw it move the entire two days we were there.

The boys

Damage from when the U.S. bombed the bridge is still visible

And apparently, this was the bomb that took it out!

Monument at the beginning of the bridge

I love Chinese signs.. "Watch to collide your head."

Asher, with tone of the women from his orphanage

After our walk, we met up with a woman who works at Asher's orphanage. She was there on behalf of the orphanage, to take us on a boat ride on the Yalu River. Originally, we weren't going to go on the boat ride, but when we found out it was already payed for by the orphanage..we went. (It's very rude in China to refuse something from someone) The ride was nice and I'm glad we went! We pulled up close to North Korea and saw some of the life going on over there.

There was a huge difference between Dandong and North Korea. As you can see in the pictures, Dandong is a large bustling city with sky scrapers and many buildings. While across the river, there are few buildings and not much sign of life. We saw a few Korean people, but they were all very sad looking and didn't wave back at us. Even though these two countries are literally less than a mile apart, it was like two different worlds.

On the boat ride...

End of the broken bridge

To give you a glimpse of how close we were to North Korea..

After the boat ride, we went out for a walk and Mom bought a traditional Korean dress called a Hanbok for the little girls to share. We then headed back to the hotel and at least Mom, Dad and I fell asleep. (The boys played gameboy) Hannah came and got our sleeping butts out of bed around 6:30 for dinner. We ate at a traditional Korean restaurant just down the street from our hotel. It is owned and operated by North Koreans and we had a great time. The food was okay.. let's just put it that way! Most of it I didn't even recognize, but they served us a pretty good beef dish and another good one called seafood pie, which was actually like a quiche. And then they brought out the much anticipated kimchi! Our good friends lived in South Korea last year and told us many stories of the wonderful kimchi they experienced! I had to try it out for myself, and it wasn't too bad. Tasted like garlic.. lots and lots of it!!

As part of the dinner experience, the Korean women put on a karaoke type performance where they sung and danced. They called up several people from the audience, including me!!! As much as I didn't want to, I was dragged up there and made to start dancing with the Koreans! Fortunately, Hannah also came with me, so it wasn't too bad. I figured why not make a fool of myself since I'm in a foreign country and I'll never see these people again! Don't worry.. those pictures will never make it to the blog!! =)

After dinner, we were all exhausted and came back to the hotel and headed straight to bed! I called home on the panda phone and got to talk to Esther, Emma and Aunt Nanette. The kids are doing well.. we miss them a lot! Asher got to talk on the phone with his sisters and he and Esther even sung "Mama Hao" together. I got video, so I'll be sure to add that later today!

It's now Sunday here in China and I'm starting to get caught up on posting. The past two days have been a lot of fun, but very tiring! Today we have a free day so we're going to rest up and maybe go to Walmart again.

A Family for Jie

2007-08-16T19:52:00.000-04:00

On behalf of our family, Ian and Asher have a special request:

Asher's friend, Jie needs a family.

Would you help us find him one?

When we first met Jie, he was very sad looking. Our guide Hannah, went right over to him and Jie began asking her if she had found him a family. At nine years old, he has seen several of his friends leave with their families but no one has come for him.

The orphanage staff kept telling us that Jie is a very smart and good boy. He always listens to the nannies and is very helpful.
Jie attends a boarding school that is several hours away from the orphanage. He is a very good student and loves to learn, but he does not like the school because he has no family or friends there.

We told Jie that we would pray for a family for him. Jie asked us what did it mean to pray, so Ian explained that praying was asking God for something for someone. And Jie looked at us and asked "What is God?"
This little boy is so hungry and he wants to learn so much.
But he hasn't been given the opportunity to.

Like Asher, he was born with a cleft lip but he has had the surgery and is completely healthy. I don't believe his palate was involved because he spoke very well for being 9 years old. Asher sounds very nasally because of his palate and is hard to understand. Even though I don't speak Mandarin, I was able to clearly understand everything Jie said.

Jie wouldn't smile while we were there. He just looked at us and seemed to be asking if we could take him home too. When we told him that we would do everything we could to find him a family, he finally gave us a smile.

I don't usually do this.. but this little boy made such an impression on our hearts, that we have to do something.

If you or anyone you know would be interested in adopting a precious little boy who wants a family.. please e-mail me.

Our guide said that she would do everything in her power to find his paperwork to bring him home. Because he is older, the cost of his adoption would be significantly less than usual.

Even if you are not in the position to adopt him (like we are) would you please print his picture out, stick it on the fridge and pray for him?

There's a story about a little boy who was throwing starfish into the ocean. The tide was going out and there were thousands of starfish on the beach who were all going to die if they weren't back in the water. A man walked up to the little boy and said, "Son, don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and thousands of starfish? You can't possibly make a difference." Picking up a starfish, the young boy threw it into the surf and said, "I made a difference for that one."

It's true, that we can't make a difference for all of the children in China. There are literally millions of orphans here who are just like Jie, in need of a family. But just like that little boy did.. we can make a difference for one of them. So please, pray that Jie would find a forever family!!

We're Not In Kansas Anymore

2007-08-16T07:51:00.000-04:00

This morning, we took a 3 1/2 hour trip north to the city of Dandong, Asher's birth place. As part of the adoption procedures, we need to apply for his passport and we can only do that in the city he is from. We also wanted to take the opportunity to visit the orphanage and experience a taste of the city.

And boy is it different! Dandong is a smaller city in China, although at least 1 million people live here. It sits right on the border of North Korea, with only a small river seperating the two countries. Our hotel room has a wonderful view of the river and of the bridge connecting the two. It's kinda crazy how close we are to North Korea!! Compared to it's neighbor, Dandong is very modern and quite new. Most of the new buildings in the city have only been around for about five years. They're trying to modernize Dandong so that it's neighbors on the other side of the river can admire this great city in China.

The view from out hotel room.
The larger bridge is used by the border patrol and is the only connection between China & North Korea.
The smaller one only crosses the river halfway, and for a small price you can walk on it to get a better view.

I told you we were close to North Korea!!

Courtesy telescope provided by the hotel.

We arrived here in Dandong around noon and quickly settled into our rooms in the Zhong Lian Hotel. Mom & Dad's room even has a telescope and we've already used it to look across the river. A view of out hotel.

Mom & Dad's room.. nice, huh? (It's nicer than my room!)

Sitting area..the first thing Ian saud when we walked in the room was "Look.. there's a Plasma television!!"

Asher and Baba <-- which is Chinese for Daddy

Asher with the alligator in the lobby!
It's not real..

Brotherly love...

Another great view from the 2nd story breakfast room.

Random, but thought I'd throw it in there anyways. There was a wedding going on in the hotel, and as we were walking outside we ran into this beautiful woman. I'm pretty sure she is a bridesmaid, but I LOVED her dress..

For lunch, we headed to a local Chinese restaurant just down the street. This is where it began to sink in that we weren't in Kansas anymore. You know you're finally submerged in China when you walk into a restaurant and you can't recognize a single thing on the menu! Not to mention that the menu isn't in English, like most we've encountered this week have been. Our guides ended up ordering food for us since we probably would have ended up ordering pig brains, thinking it was chicken! The first dish came out, and what I thought was a nice plate of noodles turned out to be a shredded cucumber salad! But after that initial shock, the rest of the food was great.

The chicken legs were a hit!

Can you recognize anything from what we had for lunch?

We boxed up the leftover food to bring to the orphanage and Asher insisted on carrying the bags.

After lunch, we headed over to the police station to apply for Asher's passport. That only took about 10 minutes, and then we were on our way to visit the orphanage.

Dodging traffic!

Asher spent all of his life in the Dandong Social Welfare Institute. These government run facilities house not only orphans, but also the elderly and those who are mentally handicapped. As we stepped into the courtyard of the Institute, we were greeted by the director who thanked us for coming and invited us to a dinner celebration! The orphanage is located in a smaller, seperate building and it houses about 35 orphans. Most of these children are not able to be adopted because they are either too old, have living relatives or are mentally handicapped.

Entrance to the Dandong Social Welfare Institute.
The pink building in the background houses adults who are mentally handicapped.

The orphanage building

We could hear lots of excitement going on as we arrived at the orphanage! About nine of Asher's friends and several nannies came out to greet us. And oh, where they some cute kids!!

Cute boys!

This little boy was sooo cute!
I wanted to take him home with me!

He reminded me a lot of our friend back at home, Ethan M.
Maybe it was because he is so huggable!!

My favorite little girl is Hua, who has white hair because she is an albino. Her eyes are closed in all of the pictures because they are sensitive to light. But she was such a sweetheart. She loved to be held and had the cutest little voice! Our guide told us that she is going to be adopted and is coming to America!

Asher with the little one.

Two of the little boys had down syndrome, and another was deaf. The youngest child has a heart defect and the other boys had cleft lips/palates just like Asher. They were all so sweet and enjoyed posing for the camera.

We also met a precious little boy named Jie, who you will hear more about later. But for now.. just be thinking about him and how much he really needs a mom and dad.

Asher was fiercely protective over all of us. Several of the children wanted to hold my camera and look at it, but if they got too close Asher would tear right into them! He wouldn't let Ian out of his sight while we were there.. almost like he was showing off to the other kids.

We were allowed to go inside the orphanage and see the room where Asher and three other boys slept. Over all, we were very impressed with the orphanage. It was very clean, the kids were well taken care of and the nannies were all very nice. Obviously, they are doing a great job because Asher is doing so well. Not to mention all of the kids seemed happy and loved.

This was Asher's room.
The little boy in orange is sitting on Asher's bed.

These are their little "bathrooms," bowls containing their toiletries.

Two of Asher's room mates.

Asher with his two families.. us and the orphanage.

It's always hard leaving. Realizing that most of these children may never be adopted.
Their faces stick with you for the rest of your life.

After we left, we walked next door to an abandoned printing shop which is where Asher was left by his parents, almost eight years ago. His parents knew he would be found because they left him right next door to the orphanage.

On December 13, 1999, a young mother left her 2 week old baby boy in front of this gate.
Seven and a half years later, Asher stands in front of the gate he was left at with his new brother.

Our next stop on the agenda was to visit a local shopping mall and buy shoes for Asher's friends in the orphanage. An hour and 13 pairs of shoes later, we were ready go go again!

For dinner, we were invited by the director of the Welfare Institute to a nice restaurant where we celebrated Asher's adoption. We had a feast of food which included some type of bugs, snails, duck and several other dishes that I could not gather the energy to stomach! I've been pretty adventurous and tried out dishes I normally wouldn't touch. But some of these, I just couldn't!

Here in China, the tables have lazy susan's in the middle and they bring the food out one dish at a time. Everyone else has a smaller plate, and you grab whatever you want from each plate in the middle. In essence, everyone is sharing a dish instead of having their own. Asher must have felt like a king because he must have tried every single dish (and there were 20 of them) at least twice!! He even grabbed the head of the duck they served us and tried to eat it.

The director of the Institute presented Ian with a piece of jade necklace.

Raising a toast to Asher.

Cheers!

Asher with his two families.

Now onto Asher: As expected, we've experienced a bit more testing from Asher. Tonight, he actually cried for the first time because he couldn't get his way. (He wanted more Sprite.. and after his sixth glass it was time to put an end to all that sugar!! He's still awake right now, by the way!) He has a very sweet and loving side to him, but he has also shown us that he will hit, spit and yell. But for the most part, he is very well behaved. He has such a charming smile, and he knows how to use it to his advantage! I can already tell he will be a ladies man in the future.

Asher is very helpful. For example, whenever we get on the elevator he makes sure he holds the door for everyone and is the last one to get on. He's also figured out all of the light switches and the air conditioning in the hotel room. It was really hot in our room last night, and I just realized that was because Asher turned the a.c. off before we went to bed! Little stinker!! He also makes sure to share all of his food/snacks with us.

We brought Asher a Spiderman backpack to give to him.. and that thing goes everywhere with us. Every morning he makes sure to put all of his toys inside the backpack. And with all of his toys, the backpack ends up weighing close to 20 pounds! He even carries the wad of toilet paper Dad bought at the public bathroom yesterday! I gave him my wallet sized pictures that I have of our family, and he won't give them back! (Which is fine with me.. I think it's very sweet!) He made sure to take our his pictures and show them to everyone at the orphanage yesterday

We're also trying to teach Asher manners and make sure he says thank you to everyone. He's doing really well and every time someone gives him something he remembers to say Xie Xie, or thank you. Also, before we eat we hold hands and pray. And the other night, he closed his eyes and prayed with us. =)

He seems to be picking up English pretty well. He can say Hello, and he knows his name is Asher. He completely understands the meanings of No and Wait! He seems to understand most of what we tell him. I though communication would be our biggest obstacle, but so far it's been manageable. Actually, he's already started to mimic his brother! Ian's always telling Asher "Stop it Fu Peng" and a few seconds later you hear Asher say.."Stop it Fu Peng."

Another funny story- The orphanage director told us a story that once Asher convinced all of the children to throw their shoes out the window. So, being kids, they did and when it came to find out who had started it, Asher told everyone that it was the older deaf boy who had done it. Later, the orphanage directors found out it was Asher... Not only is he charming, but he's wicked smart and quite sneaky! After we left the hotel room, I noticed something in his hand and it turned out to be a disposable razor from the room!

Ian seems to be doing well with transitioning to having a brother. Most of the time they get along quite well, but there are time when I think Ian second guesses having a brother. He gets annoyed at Asher when he wants to play with Ian and Ian's more interested in the gamboy. I think Ian gets frustrated with Asher because he expects Asher to know how to play a gameboy... and this is the first time Asher has ever seen one! Poor Asher.. he just wants to be like the big boys! But when they're not annoyed at each other, Ian and Asher get along great. =)

Well.. off for another fun day here in Dandong!
I'm excited because we're going to the Great Wall today!

A Forever Family We Shall Be

2007-08-15T09:57:00.002-04:00

August 15, 2007..

Oh, who would have guessed, who could have seen

Who could have possibly known? All these roads we have traveled, the places we've been Would have finally taken us home..

There are those who think families happen by chance

A mystery their whole life through. But we had a voice and we had a choice We were working and waiting for you..

No matter the name and no matter the age. No matter how you came to be. No matter the skin, we are all of us kin We are all of us one family..

So here's to you, and three cheers to you.

Let's shout it, "Hip, hip, hip, hooray!"

For, out of a world so tattered and torn,

You came to our house on that wonderful morn.
And all of a sudden this family was born
Oh, happy Adoption Day!
Happy Adoption Day, by John McCutcheon

As if you couldn't have guessed.. today was Adoption Day! The day that Fu Peng, an orphan, became Asher Kyle Fupeng Manubens, and gained an entire family. So he's officially ours now.. we get the pleasure of taking him home with us, raising him, teaching him, sending him to college and watching him grow up. What a huge, yet awesome responsibility!

Our second day with the happy little man went great! There's really no other way to describe him other than happy! He's just happy all the time. =) How ironic his name means happy, huh? He's 100% boy, so there are times when he can get really rowdy and we have to remind him to calm down. It was hard because today we spent a lot of time inside doing paperwork, and he got quite bored! He's one of those kids who needs to be outside all the time, running and and playing. I can't wait to get him home so he can run around with the dogs and the little girls.

Asher did acquire his first boo boo today. He and Ian were wrestling on the bed and he scratched his face up on the corner of the bedside table. Poor guy started crying, but boy was he mad at Ian! It took a few minutes of him calming down before he would let Ian get near him. So, he's sporting a nice scratch on his face.. but thank goodness it happened AFTER we signed the adoption paperwork! =)

After completing the adoption paperwork, we came back to the hotel and had lunch. The restaurant was set up buffet style, so Asher grabbed noodles, carrots and then went straight to the dessert table! I had turned around for just a second, and when I found him he was convincing one of the waiters to give him some fruit tarts. He was working on adding #3 to the plate, when I had to put a stop to it. He did enjoy eating the two that managed to make it on his plate though!

After lunch, we headed over to an ancient palace here in Shenyang. I don't remember the name of it, but it was a smaller version of the Forbidden City in Beijing. The emperor of China used this palace in Shenyang as a vacation home. At least, that's what I think the signs said! They were mostly all in Chinese!
The boys had a great time running around the palace.

The Boys- Ian, Asher, Steven and Andy

Views of the Shenyang Palace

Our guide Chelsea, her son Steven and Andy.

Mom with our fabulous guide, Hannah.

A blend of the old and the new

He's just figured out how to hide his face when I want to take his picture!

The boys wrestling..

Funny story.. as you know, Asher has a very small bladder. And it didn't fail that as we were walking through the palace, he had to go potty. So Dad took him to a toilet and let him do his business. Well.. Dad didn't anticipate the type of business he would be leaving in the toilet. And of course, the Chinese bathrooms don't have toilet paper. It's a do it yourself society here, folks. Luckily, Dad found a lady outside the bathroom who handed him a roll of teepee so Asher could finish up his business. But nothing is for free, including a few sheets of toilet paper! I think it only cost about $1 yuan though.

Anyways, for dinner, we stayed at the hotel again. I've been up for going around to the local restaurants and eating there.. but it was raining so we had to stay inside. Mom and Ian opted for a traditional American hamburger. Asher went straight for the dessert.. but ended up choosing a beef and noodle dish. Dad and I have been the adventurous ones, so we went for an assortment of Chinese dishes, and they were delicious! We had spicy chicken with chili powder and then a rice dish with tomato sauce and some sort of beef. It sounds kinda gross.. but it was actually pretty good!

Ian was falling asleep at dinner, so we went back to the room and both he and Mom decided to stay behind while Dad and I took Asher on a walk. Our destination? The Starbucks just a few blocks down the street! Getting there was fun as we navigated our way through Chinese traffic which included cars, buses, people and bicycles! I'm sure we looked hilarious to the Chinese.. us Americans running to cross the street. The Chinese people just walk, even if the cars are zooming past them! We finally made it to Starbucks and enjoyed a little taste of home. Asher had his first taste of a frappachino and he quickly forgot about the grapefruit juice he had asked for. He's got the cutest smile on him and when he flashes it, it becomes very hard to say no! He's quite the charmer and ended up drinking quite a bit of my drink. One the way back to the hotel, I nearly got run over by a bicycle! You'd think the sidewalks in China would be safe.. but they're just the same as the roads! If the road is blocked, cars just use the sidewalk. And there's no speed limit for bicycles, because one hit me in the arm as it went past!

Back at the hotel, we were finally able to get the webcams set up and had our first successful "visit" with the kids! Asher was still quite confused by it all, but he enjoyed yelling into the camera and even sang a few songs for the kids.. including Esther's famous "Mama Hao."

Well, that's about all I have for today. Tomorrow, we are heading to Dandong which is the city Asher is from. It's about a 3 1/2 hour bus trip and we will spend two days there applying for his passport, visiting the orphanage and even climbing the Great Wall! I'm going to bring my laptop to the hotel, but I don't know what the internet connection will be like so you may not hear from us until Friday night. But, let's hope we have an internet connection over there!
Goodnight everyone!

P.S. Thank you to everyone who has left comments on the blog and through e-mail. I haven't had time to respond to everyone, but we really enjoy reading them. So, keep them coming!!

P.S.S. Cole Pruim- I'll try to get some video uploaded of Asher speaking in Chinese..maybe you can tell me what he's saying! =)

Movie Time!

2007-08-15T05:03:00.000-04:00

These video's were both taken yesterday.
The first is of Asher's first experience at McDonalds. If you can't hear me talking in the video, I'm explaining that Asher had mixed ketchup and sweet & sour sauce and was eating (more like licking) it all. It was kinda gross..but funny.

And here's two scenes from last night of Asher's first experience in the pool. He had a blast! He's never been in a swimming pool before, but he had no fear and jumped right in. Fortunately, the pool is pretty shallow, so he could stand most of the time. As you will see, he took the swim floaties off and refused to put them back on! Good thing he starts swimming lessons when we get home!

The Arrival of Little Man

2007-08-14T08:35:00.000-04:00

Meet Little Man..
Asher Kyle Fupeng

Today was what's known in the adoption world as "Gotcha Day." It's a day that you've envisioned in your head over and over again. That day that you've been praying for, hoping for and waiting for. It's when after all the hard months of waiting, a person you've only known through pictures finally becomes real. Even though I've experienced that "moment" twice before..nothing can ever prepare you for that moment. And oh, what a beautiful moment it is. When all of a sudden a little boy who was only a picture to you, becomes reality.. and you instantly fall in love all over again.That's what it felt like to meet Asher today.

Our heartbeats were racing as we rode the elevator to the 5th floor of the building we were in. And right as we stepped off, there he was waiting for us. He was a little shy as he came closer to us, and we were just as nervous as he was! It took a few minutes, but after awhile we all started to get more comfortable with one another. We pulled out the Spiderman backpack full of toys, and the matchbox cars were quite a hit! Asher loved looking at the photo album of his friend Fu Wa AKA Sophie that his mom had sent us. (Jennifer- the orphanage officials enjoyed looking at the book! Asher decided to keep it, but we will give it to the orphanage on Thursday when we visit.)

Our first glimpse of Asher as we stepped of the elevator.

Ian and Asher.. finally together!

Asher with Ian, Dad and Mom

My two little brothers!

They've been inseparable since.

Me and the little man!

I'm amazed at the bravery this little boy has. At 7 1/2, he's able to leave behind the only life he's ever known and willingly trust us strangers. He happily said goodbye to the woman who came with him from the orphanage and left without looking back.

We've come all the way to China, so where's the first place we stop to get lunch? Of course, McDonalds! It was Asher's first time at a public restaurant and he got to enjoy his first chicken nuggets, french fries and soda! McDonalds is connected to the local Walmart, so we went on a quick visit inside the store. It's a lot like our Walmarts at home, however I think their seafood selection is a little bit fresher than ours!

The boys ready to head out!

Walking in Shenyang

Walmart!

Silly boys

Lunch at McDonalds

Walmart has a great selection of seafood..did I mention how fresh it is?

They offer low prices too- see, a turtle at $85 yuan.. or about $11 US dollars. He can be your pet, or your meal.

Later in the afternoon, we visited the Shenyang zoo. We went on a bus ride through the wildlife park and the boys got to feed the tigers through a window in the bus.

Tigers outside our van

Here's Asher holding onto a stick with a piece of raw chicken on the other side..

They stick it out the window and the tigers jump up and grab it!

He's such a happy guy!

The kids also fed the bears outside the van. This one was cute because it would stand up and act like it was begging.

Now, how cool is this? Those are REAL baby chicks.. and they're orange, yellow, pink and blue! I couldn't believe it.. so I had to take a picture to prove it. Neat, huh?

The boys

Me and Asher

So, I was just standing next to Asher minding my own business, when I realized his pants were down and he was peeing..

Banging some ancient Chinese symbols..?

Feeding the bears, that's Ian, Asher, our guide Chelsea and her son Steven.

Future drummer?

Family picture!

The boys, riding on a kangaroo.

Let me tell you, this little guy is hilarious! He is so happy and joyful! He also has a little bit of an ornery side to him, but that's to be expected. He loves to play and hates sitting still. He can be a little rough at times, but we just have to remind him to be gentle. Asher's lived in an orphanage his whole life so he has no idea what it's like to be in a family. He may be 7 1/2 years old, but emotionally he is more like a 5 year old. He's very inquisitive and wants to explore everything, so we have keep a sharp eye on him.

We've already realized that Asher has very tiny bladder! On our way to the zoo today he had to go to the bathroom, so we pulled over to the side of the road and both he and Ian went at it. Well, less than an hour later he had to go again but there was one problem. We were on the bus in the middle of a nature park with about six hungry tigers sitting outside. (No joke!) So.. he ended up having to pee in an empty water bottle. It was hilarious! I was laughing so hard I about peed my pants!

Size wise, Asher is a few inches shorter than Ian, but just as thin. All of the clothes we brought (size 7's) seem to fit. His feet are bigger than we expected, so he's currently wearing Ian's sandals. I think he's a size 1 which is the same as Ian.

He's very healthy and active. His speech is a bit nasal sounding and our guides have commented that his speech his hard to understand because of his cleft palate. We expected this, and plan on starting him in speech therapy when we get home.

At dinner tonight, we had the waitress ask Asher in Mandarin what he would like to eat for dinner. She told us that his first choice on the menu was a large piece of steak! He doesn't eat a lot, so we didn't want to get him a whole piece of steak because he probably wouldn't finish it all. Instead he got his second choice, which was steamed vegetables and a little off of Ian's and Dad's plates. He ate well and surprisingly, he went for the fork instead of the chopsticks!

Ian has definitely met his match and is so happy. He can't stop smiling and thanking us for his new brother. They are getting along so well and act as if they have known each other their whole lives.

As far as communication goes.. we are communicating! Mostly we use lots of pointing and hand gestures. We've also been coming up with our own "sign language" and attaching certain hand gestures to words like No, Stop, Wait, Yes, etc so he starts to understand better. Our guides Chelsea and Hannah have been a huge help and they are actually staying just a few doors down from us in the hotel. Hannah's 11 year old nephew and Chelsea's 11 year old son are staying with them, so all four boys are getting along great. All four of them are addicted to the gameboy (even Asher who just saw one for the first time today..) so they spend most of their time playing, switching games and helping each other.

We took Asher to the pool after dinner and he had a blast! He was laughing and squealing with delight! He's never been in the pool before, but you'd have never known by the expression on his face!

After the pool, we came back to the room and talked to the kids back at home over Skype. For some reason, the webcam (on their end) is not working so we haven't been able to figure it out yet. Hopefully we do, because Asher was completely confused when he heard their voices coming from the computer screen. Actually, he thought it was his friend Sophie so he kept saying "Wa, Wa" and talking to her. It was cute!

Another thing- Asher's Chinese name (Fu Peng) is actually pronounced Fu Pong. (We have been pronouncing it Fu Pang) But, he's also responding to Asher.

To say we have been blessed would be an understatement. Asher is doing so well and is such a joy. We've had him with us for just under 12 hours and it feels already like we've had him forever. I can't even begin to tell you how cute he is. =)

It's been an awesome day here in Shenyang and we are so thankful to God for blessing us with this little precious boy! Currently, both Ian and Asher are sound asleep.. and both snoring away! I should have remembered my ear plugs!

We miss you all so much, especially Elena, Kayla, Esther and Emma. You girls will love your brother and we can't wait for you to meet him. (If you girls go shopping sometime this week, maybe you can pick him up a pair (or two) of shoes? I'd buy size 2's since he has bigger feet than we were anticipating.)

Well.. time for some shut eye!
Talk to y'all tomorrow!
Love,
Sera, Claudio, Nancy, Ian and (finally) Asher!!

We are HERE!!

2007-08-13T09:10:00.001-04:00

Hey everybody!!!!

Well, after over 37 hours of traveling.... we are FINALLY HERE!!! We are staying in the beautiful city of Shenyang in Northern China. (On your map, find Beijing and look northeast and you will find Shenyang)

Our travels started EARLY on Sunday morning as we had a 7:10 am flight to Chicago.(And I had just gotten home from Haiti at 9 pm the day before) Michael Roebke was at our house early at 4:30 am and took us to the airport.. thank you again Michael! =) Our flight to Chicago went smoothly and just a few hours later we boarded our next one to Beijing. Unfortunately for us, we were not lucky enough to have the personal video screens on each seat, so it was a very long and boring trip. My laptop's battery was dying so it didn't work for much longer than 1 1/2 hours. Luckily, my iPod worked for about 8 of the 13 1/2 hour trip and I also brought a book along and read the whole thing to keep me occupied. Frequent visits to the bathroom also helped me keep my sanity since I didn't sleep at all! At one point in our flight I looked over and Dad, Mom and Ian were all sleeping. I wished I could have been doing that since I've only had four hours of sleep since Saturday, but I just couldn't get comfortable. So, to say the flight was long and boring would be an understatement. I was just glad to get off! We landed in Beijing around 2 pm, China time.

As we were getting off the plane I happened to run into a familiar face.. Shaquille O'Neill believe it or not! I asked the flight attendant to make sure, but obviously he is very recognizable being 7 feet tall! It's funny that we ran into him on our flight to Beijing since we pass his house every day! (He lives right down the road from our neighborhood)
Our final flight would take us to Shenyang, just about an hour north of Beijing. We grabbed our luggage and met our guide, Chelsea who is very sweet.

A little about Shenyang-we couldn't see much from the sky since it was very smoggy, but it's a beautiful city. Chelsea told us that it is the 4th largest city in China and has a population of over 7 million people. We have a great view of the city from our room on the 18th floor. We're staying at the Shenyang New World Hotel and it is BEAUTIFUL!! The beds are about as soft as concrete.. I'm not kidding! I think I might make my bed on the floor tonight. =)

It's awesome to be back in China. It's 10:00 pm and the city is still very much alive as if it was the middle of the afternoon.

Now, onto the news you all want to hear! We will be meeting Asher tomorrow morning around 10 am. So, that would be Monday night for you all since China is 12 hours ahead. I can't believe we are finally going to meet him! It hasn't sunk in yet and I'm sure it won't until I finally see him. =)
By the way, we got new pictures of Asher last week! I didn't know this until I got home, but you can see that he's grown a bit since May.

12 hours from now we'll have him in our arms!!!!!

P.S. I am not able to view the blog because of the internet restrictions.. so hopefully it's turning out okay!

In Chicago waiting for our flight to Beijing

Ian and his gameboy.. which kept him occupied for most of the flight.

5 hours into the flight..

Somewhere over Siberia?

Shenyang Bound

Waiting for our flight to Shenyang!

View of Shenyang from our hotel room

Good morning everybody!

Our hotel room

Family picture in the elevator

Ian with Andy and Steven
(Steven is our guide Chelsea's son, and Andy is our other guide Hannah's nephew. They are both 11 years old and are staying on the same floor as us.)

Headed to China!!

2007-08-11T23:36:00.000-04:00

Just a quick update..

We're heading to China in five hours!
I barely made it home from Haiti..
but I'm here and I'm not yet packed and I probably won't get sleep, but that's okay!

See you in China!

Haiti Bound

2007-08-03T14:47:00.000-04:00

Well, I leave in just a few hours to start my "month of traveling around the world." My mission team and I will spend the night in Ft. Lauderdale and then head out to Haiti tomorrow morning. Please keep us all in your prayers, that our team would grow together and that we would make a difference in the lives of the Haitians. Also for me, that I don't get sick in between my trips!

The boys' suitcase is all ready to go and the webcams are set up! Mom & Dad have a few things to get done this week, but other than that we're ready to go!!

I come home next Saturday the 11th, and will only be here for a few hours before we head out to China the very next morning! So, you may not hear from us again until we are in China! But keep checking back because I'll try to post once I'm home.

See ya later!

Travel Plans

2007-08-01T23:45:00.000-04:00

Hard to believe that we will be heading to China in 11 days!! (And I leave for Haiti in two days!!) To say it's crazy around here, would be an understatement. Maybe that's just because I'm going crazy with all I have to do!! Packing for Haiti, China, myself, the boys.. it's stressful! On top of that we've had company over the weekend and more company arrived today!! (But we're enjoying having Aunt Irma, Laura & Amy here!)

Anyways, we have travel plans! We are definitely leaving for China on Sunday, August 12th! We'll leave home around 7:00 am and arrive (about) 37 hours later in Shenyang, China. The next day (the 14th) we will meet Asher.. otherwise known as "Gotcha Day." We will stay in Shenyang for the rest of the week sightseeing, finishing adoption paperwork and waiting on his passport and then fly south to the city of Guangzhou on the 20th. Our appointment with the American Embassy is on the 22nd, we will receive his visa the next day and fly home on the 24th! WHEW!

I come home from Haiti on Saturday evening (the 11th) around 8 pm. And we'll be leaving for the airport around 5 the next morning. But who cares about sleep? That's what the plane ride is for!!

T-R-A-V-E-L A-P-P-R-O-V-A-L!!!!!!!!

2007-07-27T13:30:00.000-04:00

Just found out we got TA today!!! I had a feeling we would get it today!!

Looks like we will be leaving the 12th!!!!!!!!!!

More info when it becomes available!

**Update**- Well, I was so ecstatic earlier today that I couldn't gather my thoughts!! But yes.. we have our Travel Approval- the final step in our process to bring Asher Fupeng home! In my last post I predicted it would arrive today, and boy was I right!

It's a wonderful highlight to a week that has been filled with sorrow. Just this past Monday, very close friends of ours lost their 19 year old son. It's been a difficult week for our family and friends as we mourn the loss of Kyle. But in the midst of all the grief, we can see God's hand working during this rough time.

Right now, we are waiting for confirmation on our Consulate appointment with the American Embassy in Guangzhou. Once we have that, we can book our flight reservations! It looks like we will tentatively be leaving on Sunday, August 12th and returning home Friday, the 24th. We'll probably meet Asher on the 14th or 15th. That means that in two weeks we will be on our way to China.. I can't believe it!

This week is going to be crazy as I frantically get together everything I will need for the next three weeks. I forgot to mention that I'm leaving this Friday (the 4th) on my missions trip to Haiti. And did I mention that I'll be getting back from Haiti on the 11th? Yep.. and then we're flying out the 12th! So, I'm trying not to freak out about the fact that I'll be leaving right as I get home. But I am! More like stressing out, actually. I have so much to do this week that I don't even know where to start! But, I'm excited. I knew that this was probably what would happen, but it's still so surreal to realize that in two weeks I will home from Haiti and headed to China. And then comes the part where we finally get to meet Asher! There's so much emotion running through me right now that I don't know what to do with myself! =)

The LOA's Grand Arrival

2007-07-19T21:49:00.000-04:00

Emmy & Estie with Asher's LOA!

This is what the LOA looks like..

It took 80 days of waiting to receive this form, but it took just under two hours for us to check "yes" and sign and date it before FedEx'ing it back to the agency.

Ian and I drove down to Dad's office (about a 45 minute drive) so he could sign the LOA and we could take it to FedEx and send it off that day. We probably only had the LOA in our possession for about 2 hours before we sent it right back off! But at least we have that part taken care of!

We celebrated the next day with a little cake.
7-7-07 stands for the day we got the LOA.. but it was actually signed by China on Dad's birthday, the 5th!

So now, we're waiting again. We're assuming our LOA was sent back to China on Wednesday the 11th.. so we've already been waiting about eight days. I'm going to make a prediction and guess that our TA will arrive on Friday, the 27th.. that would be just under three weeks. Hey.. I can hope, can't I??

P.S. We got out visa's back from the Chinese Embassay.. so we're all set to go!!

YIPEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-07T16:39:00.000-04:00

Can you hear us rejoicing??
We just found out that we got our LOA today!
It will be overnighted to us on Monday.
7/7/07.. what a cool day to get an LOA. =)

What is an LOA? It stands for Letter of Acceptance and is a new step added by China in the last few months. It's just a piece of paper that China sends us and all we have to do is checkmark the statement "Yes, we accept this child," sign it, date it and send it back to China. Once China receives it, they will issue us a Travel Approval, usually 3-5 weeks later. So.. basically this means that we've just checked off another check on our list and we're still waiting!
But at least we know that we're entered into the home stretch of our wait and the "goal" (Asher!) is right around the corner!

Now we're going to be applying for our visa's and it looks like we will be traveling in 4-6 weeks!!!!!!!!!!

Day 68

2007-06-25T16:47:00.001-04:00

Well..
We're on Day 68.
Several people who have log in date's of 4/18 (which is ours) have gotten their LOA's.. which means that right now we either have our LOA and we just don't know it, or ours will be coming in the next batch, 10-14 days from now.
Our agency was on vacation all last week so I'm hoping they have our LOA and are just taking awhile to call us!!
I guess we'll know more tomorrow or in a few days.
The good news is that the LOA's have come faster than I thought they would..
But still I just want our LOA so we can go to China!!!

Six Weeks Down...

2007-05-29T23:13:00.000-04:00

Today marked six weeks since we were logged in to the adoption process.
Our dossier has been in China for 42 days now.
That's one month, one week and four days.

And I'm starting to go insane.. at only day 42!! I should really be waiting to do this once we get into the 80's. The wait is just so long!! I'm so ready to be on that flight to bring him home. Now that school's over, we're focusing our attention on learning Mandarin so we can communicate with Asher. Ian's really excited and has already started listening to the tapes.

We just want him home. Home so we can enjoy the summer with him. Home so he can have time before school starts. Home so he can just be with us and us with him!! Have I mentioned that I really want him home??

Hopefully we'll only have six more weeks to go??

More, More and More!!

2007-05-15T15:11:00.000-04:00

We got about 20 more pictures and 2 new video's of Asher on Sunday! What a happy Mother's Day it was. We also got to hear a little bit more about him. Here's a description of Asher from Jennifer:

"Asher is a hoot. He seems very happy and hyper. He was jumping and running around. He seemed really happy to see Sophie. He was sweet and pushing her on the swing and calling her Wa Wa. I am pretty sure they have been preparing him for a family. I know that they were telling him that we lived close together. I kept explaining that we weren't neighbors, but I don't think it mattered. All of the teachers seemed to be really nice. There were only a small amount of children there and they all seemed to be SN. The children were outside on the playground. It was a very small playground."

He seems like such a fun and sweet little boy! The orphanage is apparently very small and only has about 8 or 9 children. This is great, because even if there is only two nannies.. at least we know he's getting attention and love. The orphanage sounds nice, although old and rundown. It's a huge relief because I was afraid it would be a cold, dark place with hundreds of children and no love. Once again God has answered our prayers by placing Asher in a loving environment. And gosh.. he is just too darn cute!!! Oh.. I hope August comes soooon!

Of course this update and photos makes us long for him even more.. but it will hold us over until we can go and get him. Oh.. and I didn't forget the video's! They're short.. but so special to us.

Here's Asher playing with his friends on the playground.

And a cute video of Asher! He's saying "Wa Wa" at the end when he reaches over to Sophie. (Her nickname was Wa Wa. I imagine his is Peng Peng)

NEW Asher Pictures!!!!!

2007-05-11T13:24:00.000-04:00

Look what we got this morning!!

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord." -Psalms 40:1 & 3

Pictures of our precious Asher! Asher with his friend Sophie

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" Psalms 27:14

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope.." Psalms 130:5

Ahh.. isn't he precious??

"..but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

You don't have any idea how wonderful this is to finally receive news of our boy! He looks happy, and healthy which is a huge answer to prayer.

Thank you to our friend Jennifer (Sophie's Mama) for taking the pictures. =)

Stay tuned because there's more on the way!!!

Asher News!!

2007-05-10T14:41:00.000-04:00

Our friend Jennifer is in Shenyang right now picking up her beautiful daughter, Sophie. Tomorrow (or tonight, China time) she'll be heading to Dandong and hopefully visiting the orphanage where Sophie and Asher are from!!!!!! I can hardly contain my excitement because we should be seeing pictures of him tomorrow!! As you know, the only pictures we have of Asher are from when he was four years old.. and he's now seven!!

Please pray that she's able to see him and get pictures for us!! Jennifer said that Sophie and Asher are friends. =) I don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight!

Click HERE to see Jennifer's blog.

Log-In Date....

2007-05-02T09:46:00.000-04:00

4/18/07!!
I was only 2 days off from my guess of 4/20.
So we're officially "logged in" and now we can start the countdown which means we're on Day 14 today!
Our agency is telling us that the LOA's are currently taking 3 months from LID.
So.. we can expect to hear something in July. Which will make things interesting because I'm going on a missions trip to Haiti August 4-11th!

DTC!!!!!!!!

2007-04-08T22:21:00.000-04:00

We just got the wonderful news that our dossier is on its way to China.. and probably arriving there right now since its Monday morning in China! We were DTC on 4/5/07!!

Now What?
We continue waiting!! We will wait for our paperwork to be logged in (Log-In Date or LID) and from then we will wait for our Letter of Acceptance (LOA). The LOA typically comes 3-4 months after your LID. It's a simple form that requires just a check mark (accepting the child) and your signature. Once it's sent back to China, your Travel Approval (or TA) comes about 2-3 weeks later. And then we travel!!

So we still have a 3-4 month wait ahead of us. Here are my predictions:
Let's say we are LID 4/20th.. (that would be about 15 days for LID which follows what recent LID's from our agency have been)
The current wait time for LOA's is 80-140 days after LID! So let's just say we get an LOA on 7/27.. which would be about 98 days. (We waited about 85 days for Esther's TA last year)
Then about 3 weeks later, we'd get a TA putting us at 8/17 (which means I can go on my Haiti trip.. just means I'll miss the first few weeks of school)
And then travel a few days later, putting us at the week of leaving 8/20-8/27..

So.. those are my current predictions.. we'll see what happens and how close I am to these dates! The best case scenario would be getting a TA at 80 days..and just maybe we would travel in late July. Or.. we could get TA at 140 days and then we'd be looking at travel in September and even October!! Yikes!!

Dossier... DONE!!

2007-03-27T09:48:00.000-04:00

Well..... the dossier is finally done!!
YAHOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Our wonderful friend Nancy (pictured above with Mom) went to Tallahassee last week and took our documents with her. She then played the "assistant stork" role and had it authenticated and brought it right back to us. (Along with Elena who had been up there for a week-long teen camp.) We are so blessed to have such wonderful friends like her. She was there the night Ian was born, and is now helping out with Asher's "birth." =)

So, we overnighted the dossier to IAAP (our agency) and they'll take care of the Chinese Consulate authentications for us. It should be on it's way to China next week!!!

From there, we'll wait for our Letter of Acceptance (LOA) which is estimated to be taking between 3-4 months now. We're looking at travel in August or possibly September. I'm just praying that somehow we get a miracle and travel in July. I'll be on a missions trip to Haiti August 10-17th, and I'd really hate to miss that or the China trip. Plus, we start school the week after, and I'll be dual-enrolling at the community college.. I'd really hate to miss those first few weeks of classes! It's all in God's hands, so I just have to trust Him that everything is going to work out. (But, it's hard waiting!!)

To celebrate, we added a few more outfits to Asher's growing wardrobe. We haven't bought much for him yet, just because we don't know his exact size and we'll do more shopping once it gets closer to travel time. He really doesn't need much because he'll have all of Ian's hand-me-downs. (But we're still going to be buy him stuff because we don't want him to feel like he has to wear hand-me-downs.)

Sooo.. that's where we're at now. This part of the wait is great and hard at the same time. Great because all we can do is done, but hard because we have to wait.. and wait!!!!

Care Package & Paperwork News

2007-03-09T10:04:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all the responses for Asher's care package! Here's what we we're including:
-stuffed dog
-magna doodle
-etcha-sketch
-small football
-Disney t-shirt
-photo album
-Coloring book & crayons
-stickers
-play doh
-Hot Wheels Cars

So.. hopefully he likes it all! We're just finsihing up the photo album and then it will be all ready to go! He'll have it in about a month or so.

Someone mentioned taking our video camera and taping our family and house and then sending it on a DVD to him. This is a great idea, but because we're not sure if the orphanage even has a DVD player, we're just going to wait. (His orphanage is pretty remote looking!!) But before we travel, we'll have one of our Chinese friends come over and have them walk through our house and introduce everyone and everything to him. Then we'll just bring it with us to China and let him watch it so he'll know who everyone is and where his room is before he comes home.

And for some paperwork news, we have all of our documents!! Hooray!! We're just waiting for our I-171h (approval from INS) and then we'll be set to go! Our INS office is usually pretty fast, so we're hoping to have that very soon. Finally, everything seems to be falling in to place and we'll at least be DTC before May!

I'll update when we have any more news!

Ideas?

2007-02-19T14:42:00.000-05:00

Now that we have our approval from China it's time to start gathering items to send in Asher's care package. Only thing is, we're not exactly sure what to send him!
It's a little different sending something to a seven year old than it was when we sent care packages to Esther, at age 2 1/2 and Emma at age 18 months. Ian thinks we should just send Asher a gameboy, but I think that will have to wait until we go to China! He then suggested a laser gun...so he hasn't been much of a help!!
I know we'll definitely be sending a photo album so I've got to start working on that. Other idea's I've been thinking about are a stuffed animal, matchbox cars, coloring books, lego's and a Mickey Mouse shirt or hat. (Mickey Mouse is pretty universal) Of course I don't want to send too much because we don't even know if the orphanage will let him keep it. But we also want to send enough of something (say 30 matchbox cars, or enough candy) so the other children don't get jealous. And it all needs to be small because Jennifer from Cannon Fishbowl has volunteered take it over for us when she adopts her daughter Sophie, from Asher's orphanage. We really hope she travels next month!! =)
Any other idea's? He's seven years old.

Great News!!!

2007-02-15T13:46:00.000-05:00

It is with great joy we announce that the People's Republic of China has approved us to adopt one of their children... our new son!

So without further ado, we introduce to all of you...

Asher Fupeng

age 7, currently waiting for us in Dandong, China

Pictures were taken in (estimated) August 2004
(HOPEFULLY.. we'll have new ones soon!)

In other words, WE GOT OUR PA!!! Or, Pre-Approval from China allowing us to adopt Asher. What does this mean? Well.. not all that much, just that we KNOW he's ours now! We're still waiting for a few more of our documents to arrive and our approval from INS. Hopefully, our paperwork will all be sent to China within the next month and then we'll wait from there. It's been a long wait especially since our Letter of Intent (LOI) to adopt him went to China on December 1st! But, despite the long wait ahead of us we are thrilled and can't wait to bring him home!!!!

Guess What!

2007-01-24T17:54:00.000-05:00

Remember two days ago (in my last post) when I was venting because of the whole drama with my parent's marriage license?? Well, whoever was praying.. those prayers were working!! We sent off our request on Monday afternoon.. and today we got my parent's marriage license!!! HOORAY!!! This time, it was the REAL one.. not what we got last time!! I'm so happy!! Now, the ML is off to the Secretary of State for authentication so we can get it ready to send to China.

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." 1 John 5:14

And So the Saga Continues...

2007-01-22T17:55:00.000-05:00

of our paperchase that is!!

I'd love to say I have good news and that things are moving along quite well. The reality is that we're still waiting, but most everything is moving along.. except for one stubborn document.
You'd think that it'd be the I-171h or the authentication process that would be causing all of our headaches.. but in really, it's my parent's marriage license!! A marriage license! Here's the story:
Four years ago when we were paperchasing for Emma, Mom ordered two copies of their marriage license for the dossier. It turned out that we'd only need one copy for the dossier, so when Esther came along in 2005, we used the other one for her dossier. So, when Asher came along right before Thanksgiving, the first thing we did was order birth certificates and marriage licenses since that would be the easy part. However, in Maryland, the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene only has marriage licenses up until the year of 1991. Mom & Dad were married in 1988. So, off to the Maryland State Archives we went and after three weeks, they finally sent us what looked like a copy of a filed marriage license. It didn't look anything like the ML we had from our last adoptions but our agency said as long as the Secretary of State certified it, it would be fine. Well, everything arrived back from the MD Secr. of State last week, and the marriage license was certified,so we thought it was alright off it went to the US Department of State. (Mom's birth certificates went as well since she was born in Maryland.) Today, our documents came back authenticated, except for the marriage license.
After a headache of a day and frantic calls to anyone we could think of, we've realized that the Secretary of State made a mistake when they certified the document since it had never been signed by the Head of the Department of Health. That's why the State Department wouldn't certify it.
So, a letter has gone out to an office in Maryland where they are supposed to issue a marriage license for my parents. Please pray that they send us the *correct* document and that we can get it certified without a problem. Who'd have thought that our biggest headache would be a silly marriage license???

Other than that, everything else is moving along just fine.

Fingerprints!!

2007-01-07T22:04:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Mom & Dad went to the INS office to have their fingerprints taken. Our I-600A was sent to them over a month ago, and now we're waiting for our social worker to send our homestudy to INS so we can receive our I-171H.. or approval from the government to adopt an orphan from a foreign country. The discouraging news is that we received a letter saying that our approval could take anywhere from 2-4 MONTHS to complete! With our other two adoptions, our approvals were sent within two weeks. We really don't have two or even four more months to fool around with. Asher's orphanage is located very close to N. Korea and he is need of speech therapy. I'm hoping that this was just one of those conservative letters, and that they'll be able to get the approval to us sooner.

I feel really bad because we haven't gotten much done since before Christmas! Most of us were all sick the week before Christmas and then Dad & I were in Honduras for five days. But really, everything that we need is being done my someone else at the moment: Mom's employment letter, Police Clearances, Homestudy.. and that's it! These documents are all being processed by our social worker, so we're really only waiting on her.

We're still waiting for Pre-Approval from China as well. Today is day 37 of our wait for PA. I'm hoping it comes a lot sooner than Esther's did! (Back in the summer of '05, our PA came after THREE months of waiting!) The good news is that several PA's have recently been issued for families needing Family Size Waivers (FSW's) including one family who's LOI went to China after ours! I'm hoping our PA will be on it's way soon... but it's all up to China!

So.. that's just an update on our paperchase. Oh how I long for the day when we can finally say we are DTC!!! I wonder when that will be! I'm HOPING for late February.. but at this point.. I don't even want to guess! I'm just hoping to be in China before school starts in August!! Preferably, I'd like to travel before June because we'll be travelling to Maryland then for my cousin's wedding. Wouldn't it be funny to show up with an extra kid in tow? (Some of our family members don't know about Asher yet.. we plan to tell them shortly before we travel. Most think we're crazy anyways, so it spares us from all the explosive comments we'll probably receive!) For now we continue to wait and pray for our sweet Asher daily!

"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Not much to update on...

2006-12-22T00:28:00.000-05:00

Well, there's still not much of an update. We have most of our documents collected and are just waiting for the rest to arrive. We did find out that our LOI went to China on December 1st! We can start counting down from that date to when we'll get Pre-Approval. Only it looks like we have a 2-3 month wait ahead of us for PA. We also (finally) got my parents' fingerprint appointments.. only we have to reschedule them since they're for next week and Dad & I will be out of the country! Poor Ian keeps asking us every day when Asher will come home! Soon, buddy. Soon!

It's Christmas Time Again...

2006-12-13T12:33:00.000-05:00

There's a little boy trembling on a cold December morn
Crying for momma's arms
At an orphanage just outside a little China town
Where the forgotten are

But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights
I'm warmed by the fire's glow
Outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white,
Make angels in the snow

But half a world away you try your best to fight the tears
And hope that heaven's angels come to carry you here

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

Christmas is a time to celebrate the holy child
and we celebrate his perfect gift of love
He came to earth to give his life
and prepare a place for us
so we could have a home with him above

It's Christmas time again and now you're home
Your family is here so you will never be alone
So tonight before you go to sleep, I'll hold you in my arms
And I'll tell you from my heart, and I'll you from my heart
I wish you Merry Christmas

(*lyrics changed as song was originally talking about a little girl.)

Asher's Birthday

2006-11-28T23:33:00.000-05:00

Today is Asher's birthday.
Today he turned seven years old.
Today was probably just another ordinary day for him.
Today we celebrated him.
Today he went to bed knowing he doesn't have a mom or dad.
Today we go to bed knowing that soon he'll have both.
Today is just another day down in our wait to bring him home.
Today will be his last birthday in China.
Today will soon be tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that until he won't be waiting anymore and he will be home with his forever family.

It's sad to think he's in China right now, far away from us. But, it brings comfort to know that this will be his last birthday in China.. and soon we'll have him home. We celebrated this special day by singing Happy Birthday to him and having a cake in his honor.
So hang in there buddy.. we'll be there soon!!
And Happy Birthday!

KISSES IN THE WIND

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

Paperchase Begins!

2006-11-22T16:25:00.000-05:00

Since Monday, we have been paperchasing like crazy.. running around, ordering documents, calling for updates.. etc!

We sent our Letter of Intent (LOI) off to the agency this morning, so they should have that by Friday. We also completed the application and some other paperwork needed. And we sent off the I-600A to INS, as well.

So far, our folder of "Documents for the Dossier" contains:
Mom's birth certificates
Dad's birth certificate
Financial Form
Adoption Application Letter

We only ordered Mom's birth certificates on Monday and they got here TODAY! That was fast!! However, their marraige license is another story! According to Vitalcheck.com, my parents were never married! So, we contacted the Archives in Maryland (where they were married) and were finally able to order a marriage license. That's expected in 10-15 days, but they've put a rush order on it so hopefully it will get here sooner. Since those documents originated in Maryland, we have to send them back to Maryland for certification from the Secretary of State. And then they go back to Washington D.C. for authentication from the U.S. State Department!

Paperchasing wouldn't be so difficult if everything didn't need to be notarized, certified.. etc!

Next, we wait for a fingerprint appointment from INS, which shouldn't take too long. After our homestudy is completed and sent to them, we'll receieve our I-171H. Fortunately, our INS office is usually very fast so that shouldn't be much of a hassle!

We're waiting to hear from our social worker about our homestudy update, but because it's a holiday weekend I'm sure we won't hear back 'til at least next week. Once we meet with her, we can get the background checks and Mom's employment letter.

Dad will get his employment letter hopefully next week, and then he and Mom will also get their physicals done.

What else? Well, then we will just need passport pictures, passport copies and more photos!! And then most everything will need to be notarized, authenticated by the Secretary of State and then sent to the Chinese Consulate! Whew!

I expect this process to move much faster than our other two adoptions, so hopefully we'll be DTC in January. Of course, that's wishful thinking.. but we'll see! We're hoping to have Asher home ASAP, since the orphanage is located right by North Korea and with all that's going on over there we'd really like to have him home soon, and safe! But we're trusting God that he'll bring Asher home in his perfect timing. So we continue to wait but with the holidays soon approaching it makes the timing go by so quickly!

"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Here We Grow Again!

2006-11-20T12:41:00.000-05:00

It's a BOY!!

And his name is ASHER.

Either you're probably thinking "Well, it's about time they adopted a brother for Ian!" or "Oh my gosh! They're adopting AGAIN?? Seven children? They are crazy!!"

Well, we'll take either. Yes, we're adopting again. And yes, we know we're crazy. But we do know that we have more love to give, and enough room in our hearts and home for one more child. Sure people will look at us like we're crazy, and the house may never ever be clean or organized.. but if we save one little boy and give him a home, family and opportunities to succeed in life.. then it's worth it.

Ian is completely nuts. He has been asking for a brother since we brought Esther home in March, and now that he's going to have a male companion.. he's jumping from the rooftops!

We can't share too much information about Asher until we receive approval from the Chinese government. But what we can say is that he will be turning seven next week and lives in an orphanage in Northern China in Liaoning Province. He was a waiting child and his file was due back to China on December 5th. This would have likely been his last shot at a family and who knows what would have happened to him if we hadn't realized he was ours. Our little boy. We knew he was out there somewhere.. it just took awhile for us to realize he was ours.

The name Asher is Hebrew for "Happy." When we first saw his pictures, we saw an outgoing, obstinent and stubborn looking little boy. In Emma & Esther's mug shot photos they both looked so sad. But in Asher's, he has a big smile on his face, almost as if saying "I'm here..and I need someone to love me." The pictures are about two years old, but he is absolutely adorable. Hopefully we'll be getting some updated pictures in the next few weeks.

Now that we've realized he's ours, the paperchase begins! AGAIN! But, at least we have something to do while we wait. This morning, after calling the agency to tell them he was ours, we called our social worker to get our homestudy update going. Filled out the I600A and plan on sending that to INS sometime this week. Ordered birth certificates for Mom.. and waiting to hear about their marraige license. That's all we can do for now until we get more instructions from the agency.

We're all so excited. A new brother for our family, and a new beginning for a seven year old little boy in China! Hopefully.. he'll be home by next summer!